[SOPHIA]
Welcome to the Planescape: where good and evil clash, where law and order maintain their delicate balance, the battleground for gods and monsters. Many heroes have written their legends in the stars of the Astral Sea, but these are... not their stories.

The Per Aspera and her crew— Kyana, Finbar, VR-LA, and Dani— may not be the stuff of legends yet, but they're definitely Rolling with Difficulty.

♪(intro music)

[AUSTIN]
Hello and welcome to our third episode of Rolling with Difficulty, the adventures of the crew of the Per Aspera. Crew of the Per Aspera, say hi.

[SOPHIA]
Hi.

[RED]
Hello!

[NOIR]
Hi, crew of the Per Aspera.

[WALLY]
How's it going?

[SOPHIA]
Ha ha.

[AUSTIN]
That gimmick's already taken. We can't do that one. If there's nothing else, I guess we'll just jump right into where we last left our heroes.

[SOPHIA]
"Hero".

[RED]
Hey, some of us are heroes.
 
[AUSTIN]
"Heroes", loose terms. Protagonists?

[RED]
Definitely.

[AUSTIN]
At the end of our last adventure, the crew of the Per Aspera had successfully completed a job given to them by Uncle Oto, Dani's... mentor? Father figure? Definition's loose.

[SOPHIA]
It's Uncle Oto, y'know? Everybody loves Uncle Oto!

[AUSTIN]
From the City of Brass and the elemental Plane of Fire. He charged you, along with his ship, as he reminded you, to smooth over a problem he had with a deal he'd made where he had acquired some specific piece of arcanotech from Hell, from Baator, the Nine Layers of Hell. Tasked you to go to the first layer, Avernus, to fetch fuel for what you found out to be the Hell Rides, or basically motorcycles. He tasked you to go get some fuel for it, which you discovered was easier said than done.

But arriving in Avernus, you found the train that you needed to raid, concocted a plan, had a dope encounter where you separated the engine from the rest of the cars, leaving them behind. Fought your way through the battalion of devils, bearded devils, that were on their way. Killed the merregons, the guards that were guarding the many, many trophies in that room. Rescued a surprise... stowaway's the wrong word. Captive! Surprise captive among the devils. A githzerai by the name of Enoch. Retrieved the soul coins, which are the fuel for these Devil's Rides, and Planeshifted your way out of literal Hell and back to the comfort of the Astral Sea.

It is here, a short time later, that we pick up our story. Enoch is— he's already pale, yellowy-green, but is pretty famished. Expresses that he hasn't eaten or really slept in days. He's had sleep, but not satisfying because he's been chained up.

[RED]
Oof!
 
[AUSTIN]
He's had sleep, but not satisfying because he's been chained up. Finbar, I don't know if...

[WALLY]
Yes.

[AUSTIN]
I never want to assume a character's actions, but I feel like I can assume a character's actions.

[WALLY]
Luckily, Enoch— that's the name, yeah?

[AUSTIN]
"Yes."

[WALLY]
I have had this killer brisket brewing in the kitchen for the past two weeks that you're going to love. Alright? You sit tight. Don't worry about your tired little body. I'm gonna go get some of that out for you, alright?

[AUSTIN]
"Your hospitality is most gracious. Thank you."

You go ahead, get that ready. If you guys wanna check over on Roll20, you'll see that I have the map up. There's no combat or anything. I just thought it would be fun for you guys to be able to check out the second deck, and I've gone ahead and placed all of you guys in the mess hall, the dining area, along with Enoch there.

So this is a perfect opportunity, if there's any interactions you want to have with each other or with him. There's little blankets and napkins and odds and ends all over. He drapes one over his shoulders. He's been through it recently. Fin, you come in with the food; he nods a thank you. And as you go to set, describe what I'm seeing. Is it on a plate and a bowl? What are we seeing here?
 
[WALLY]
On this massive slab of wood, it is dripping with a strange sauce. Finbar walks in and he says, "Do you know what a...." How do you pronounce this? "Kruthik is?"

[AUSTIN]
"Unfamiliar."

[WALLY]
"It's a strange little monster crawling around all over the place, and the last thing you wanna do is eat that thing. But luckily for you, I have this crazy recipe that I picked up, and I hadn't had the chance to try it out. And luckily, everybody here has had my food, so they know a little bit of what I do. But I need a fresh palate. So if you will..." He sets it down, steak knife, spices. And he sits across from him and waits for him to take a bite.

[RED]
(laughs)

[AUSTIN]
He gives a nod. A piece of the meat, without him reaching over, lifts up off of the slab and comes over to the plate in front of him and sets down.

[RED]
Hygenic.

[AUSTIN]
The fork and knife position themselves, they lift up to him and he takes them out of the air. Cuts a piece, eats it, closes his eyes, chews very slowly.

"That is... delicious. I don't remember the last time I indulged in something so... decadent? An appropriate word, I think. You are truly a fine artist."
 
[WALLY]
Thank you. And he yells, "Alright, guys, bring the rest in!" And a flurry of pixies come in with some light salads, what look to be like chips of some sort, and some wine, water.

He says, "Very rarely do I get to put on a feast. So excuse the extravagances, if you will."

[AUSTIN]
"Very rarely I am offered a feast. So thank you, my good sir. I feel the need to thank you all again for rescuing me from what would have been certain death at the best, I'm sure. If there's anything I might do for you that is within my power, within my reason, then simply let me know."

[SOPHIA]
So how'd you end up in Hell?

[RED]
If it's not too inappropriate.

[AUSTIN]
He gives a nod.

“Certainly not. If you're unfamiliar, I'm githzerai. Me and my people hail from the world of Limbo. But we have many duties that we see to across the many planes. I traveled to Baator with my rrakkma, which is my party. We were there to specifically strictly observe githyanki training grounds. If you're unfamiliar, the githyanki are a powerful military force. Because of the quirks of the Astral Sea, their children must be born and raised on worlds where time passes. The harsher the world, the fewer survive and the more cutthroat that they are in the end. So there is quite a strong presence in Hell for those reasons. We make it our point to keep an eye on them and their goings on.

We observed, but it seems that our knowledge of the devils and their patterns has shifted, for whatever reason. My rrakkma was ambushed. Most killed; I know some fled; but I was taken captive, I assume because devils (the cowardly lot they are, fear the retribution of their masters) probably sought reward for my capture. At the very least, to not be killed for not attempting to get information from me. That is where you found me. I was being taken... I know not where. I saw, it was most likely the front lines of the Great Blood War. So again, thank you for saving me from that wretched place. If it's not inappropriate for me to ask," And a glass floats over to his hand and he sips for a moment.

[RED]
Oh, that's so cool.

[AUSTIN]
"What were a band like you, with such a vessel, doing in Avernus yourselves?"

[SOPHIA]
Eh, we had a job, y'know, pick up a contract, go get some... what was it? What did you call it the other day? It was fuel for the bikes.

[RED]
Coins. It was coins.

[SOPHIA]
Coins, yeah.

[NOIR]
Soul coins.

[AUSTIN]
Soul coins.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah. I suppose we're heading back to the Plane of Fire, gotta go drop these back off to Oto.

[NOIR]
Not all of them, hopefully.

[WALLY]
Just the ones that he needs.

[RED]
Yeah, maybe we can figure out a way to help the fact that there are apparently tormented souls stuck in the rest of them. Like, that doesn't feel great for me.
 
[AUSTIN]
Enoch looks at you, says, "Yes, you're correct. They are filled with souls. It is possible to break such an enchantment. I know not the specifics, but not powerful, but middling magics of the divine nature should be able to free the souls from their torment. It's not divine magic. It's not something I'm intimately familiar with. But I'm also able to use my past knowledge of Hell to reason."

[NOIR]
Well, that's good.

[SOPHIA]
Well, as long as we still get paid for the job and Oto doesn't try to take the ship away from us because we're not working for him anymore, I don't really care what we do with the extra.

[AUSTIN]
"You said to the Plane of Fire is your destination?"

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, City of Brass.

[AUSTIN]
"And where to after that?"

[SOPHIA]
Good question. We sorta go wherever the job takes us, as it were.

[NOIR]
Would you like to be dropped off someplace?

[AUSTIN]
"Yes. If it would not be trouble. Limbo is my home world. But our citadels there are a carefully guarded secret. If you are able to drop me off in the city of Sigil, I have means of returning home from there."

[NOIR]
Is Sigil...

[RED]
We've been to Sigil before. Can't be hard.
 
[NOIR]
I don't know how space works in the Astral Sea. I was gonna ask if Sigil is on the way to the City of Brass, but I don't even know if such a question makes sense.

[WALLY]
Ain't Sigil on the way to everything?

[NOIR]
Yeah.

[RED]
Yeah, It's like the hub world, right?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, it is the hub world, but... So the cosmology is a great ring, but traveling the Astral Sea isn't just sailing from the middle to outer place. There's just random portals everywhere. It's more like Star Wars, going to different planets, where some places might be closer than others, but there's nothing really on the way. In Star Wars, you have the, y'know, the hyper routes or whatever. Someone's yelling at the podcast trying to correct me now. You have the highways, the hyperspace highways or whatever, that get you around.

[NOIR]
Yeah, it takes like 12 parsecs or whatever.

[AUSTIN]
Exactly. There's routes as well, following the stars, that get you to different places. And it's not that anything is necessarily on the way to anything else. Some things are sometimes closer, but the way the portals are, they're random. And knowledge of portals is also finicky, because some open and close, you guys have knowledge of where certain ones are that are always there, that are useful to you. So you have traveled enough, you know where the Sigil one is, you know where the Plane of Fire one is; but for example, you wouldn't have known where one to Hell was until Oto. Oto expressed that he made a deal with someone to get that information. But now you guys do know how to get back to Hell if you ever want to.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, nice.

[RED]
Oh, great.

[WALLY]
Yeah, most likely not.

[SOPHIA]
I don't know. They had some cool stuff.

[AUSTIN]
Yes! You guys do have items that I think you need to identify.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, yes.

[RED]
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Does anyone else have any other questions for Enoch?

[RED]
I'm gonna wait until the conversation dies down and see if I can have a private conversation with Enoch.

[AUSTIN]
Certainly there will be.

[RED]
Surreptitiously.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, there'll be a moment for that. Otherwise, he just politely asks your names, finishes his meal. He's very deliberate in his mannerisms. He takes a hearty portion, but does not, even though he's probably ravenous, doesn't hork it down or anything. He's very civilized about it, very disciplined about it. He clearly has some willpower, so to speak. Polite conversation is made, but after the meal will excuse himself to go get some air on the top deck.

 
[RED]
Yeah.

[WALLY]
Does this count as a short rest?

[AUSTIN]
Yes, this does. So go ahead, everyone can roll their hit dice.

[RED]
Yes, good.

[AUSTIN]
At the end of the meal, he excuses himself and says, "Your hospitality is gracious, but I feel somewhat claustrophobic after the ordeal of the past days. I'll take some time on the deck, if that's fine."

[SOPHIA]
Yep. That's great.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. Do people get a bonus from the chef?

[WALLY]
Yeah. You get a free d8.

[SOPHIA]
Ooh!

[RED]
Oh, perfect. In that case, I will...

[SOPHIA]
Spicy! As soon as it looks like everyone's starting to disperse, Dani is very rudely standing up from the table and trudging on down to wherever it is that we're storing all of our loot, because I'm gonna start tearing into this mechanical nonsense.

[AUSTIN]
There's a third level of the deck where you put everything— I would say, unless you wanted to leave it all on the deck. Those are basically your two options, is— there's no space in the middle, so it's either upper deck or lower deck.

[SOPHIA]
I assume we would have put it into storage in the lower deck for now, and then move whatever we need.

[NOIR]
Yeah.

[RED]
Yep.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. The flamethrower is too big to take down there, so that's still on the deck.

[NOIR]
Well, we mean to install it on the top anyway, so. Not set up, but yeah.

[SOPHIA]
We will need to install it on the top.

[AUSTIN]
You do, yeah. You're gonna need to install it. Unclear how long that will take.

[SOPHIA]
Dear listening audience, I have a *massive* list of improvements that I would like to make to this ship.

[AUSTIN]
She sent me *so* many improvements.

[RED]
She's not kidding, she read it after the last pod recording.

[SOPHIA]
(laughs)

 
[AUSTIN]
I asked, I said, "You're an artificer, is there anything— just so I can, y'know, like I won't be blindsided— is there anything you're thinking to do with the ship?" And she was like, "Hold on, give me three hours," and then sent me just so many things.

[NOIR]
I love how varied the requests were as well, from a brig to a swiveling feature on the on the captain's chair.

[AUSTIN]
We should post that on Twitter or whatever.

[RED]
Some of those weren't requests. I didn't request the robot to walk around and sneak attack me. That one's just a surprise tool that'll help me later.

[SOPHIA]
Exactly. You gotta train those reflexes, being a monk is hard work. I didn't request a flamethrower either, but now that definitely just rocketed to the top of the list in terms of what's getting installed. But Dani will go spend...

[AUSTIN]
That was just— I was like, "There's gonna be a weapon on this for the demon grinder or whatever it was," and I was like, "What'll it be? Roll. Oh, okay, it's a flamethrower."

[RED]
Oh, no.

[AUSTIN]
Beats the Styx cannon. We'll leave that as a vague...

[WALLY]
Oh, yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Wally knows what's up with that.

 
[WALLY]
Oh my god, yes. Not fun.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. So you go and immediately start tinkering.

[SOPHIA]
Tinkering, tearing into it. I assume Plug's plodding around. I'll have him try and move stuff in the background. So you see this tiny little mechanical cat trying to butt its head against the bike to get it to roll out of the way, and just sort of tinkering down there during our downtime while everyone else is mulling about the ship.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. Plug took a nap while you guys ate, and just accordion hisses in and out while he sleeps.

[RED]
(laughs)

[SOPHIA]
(laughs)

[AUSTIN]
But yeah, once you guys got moving again, he was like, "What's going on?" and followed you down.

[RED]
Aww.

[SOPHIA]
Aww.

[AUSTIN]
VR-LA.

[NOIR]
Yeah. VR-LA will go back to the helm of the ship and readjust the coordinates to head towards Sigil.

[AUSTIN]
Okay.

[RED]
So are we going to Sigil first or Plane of Fire first?

[NOIR]
It feels rude to request Enoch to accompany us for the duration of our mission.
[RED]
That's fair.

[AUSTIN]
Do you say that when he's still there or after he excuses himself?

[NOIR]
I suppose it would be after the fact.

[AUSTIN]
Fin, I assume you're just going to be cleaning up.

[WALLY]
Yeah, I brought a lot to the table. Time to clear, all the pixies are grabbing everything up.

[RED]
Yeah. Ton of brisket.

[AUSTIN]
Your pixies are going. Yeah, they're eating little bits off the table, too, as they go. And then one of them's putting it in their mouth, and another comes and slaps their hand.

[WALLY]
They know damn well they're not allowed to eat the scraps. They can't eat the scraps. Mm-mm.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, exactly.

[RED]
You're supposed to taste it before it goes out to make sure it's good. I've been watching so much Kitchen Nightmares, it's a problem.

[AUSTIN]
(laughs) It's better than when you guys have wine and one of them just takes a little dewdrop, and then just gets totally plastered.

[RED]
Aww.

[SOPHIA]
Aww.

[AUSTIN]
And yeah. Kyana, you wanna go see Enoch on the top deck?

[RED]
Yeah, I'm gonna see if I can talk to him a little bit. Not, like, fully out of earshot. I'm not being super cagey about this, I just don't feel 100% comfortable. So I'm gonna wanna be a little more private, I guess. And I'm just gonna be like, "So, you know a lot about different things on different planes, it sounds like."

[AUSTIN]
He sees you approach. He has a pretty good insight, so he can tell you're a little uncomfortable.

[RED]
Yeah, I figured.

[AUSTIN]
He beckons for you to come stand next to him, and gives a nod. "There are things that the githzerai, as a rule, keep an eye on, yes. I would not consider myself a scholar of the planes, but..."

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
"If you have a question, please."

[RED]
Well, I'm a little bit new at all this. Apparently, I come from the Prime Material Plane. And I wanted to know if you knew anything about a monastery that would be right on the edge of the Underdark, I think?

[AUSTIN]
"Hmm." He gives a nod. "I'm familiar with the Prime only through word of mouth. I've never visited myself. The same applies for the Underdark as well. I do not know any specific monasteries there, but it is interesting. You are also one of a monastic tradition?"

[RED]
Well, yeah, um...

[AUSTIN]
"The githzerai culture is entirely based on this way of life, is why I inquire."

[RED]
Oh, yeah. It seems like your monastic tradition allows for you to do things like go outside and have adventures and talk to people, right? It's kind of the impression I'm getting.

[AUSTIN]
"Yes, a principal belief among githzerai is adherence to a balance in the universe. But to follow principles without exploration, without insight, self-reflection into those beliefs is, in no small words, a form of madness, in my opinion. Yes, it is customary for us to make many pilgrimages out into the world.

[RED]
Wow.

[AUSTIN]
Although I would say That sounds very cozy. we spend most of our time within our citadels."

[RED]
It still sounds very cozy, honestly.

[AUSTIN]
"Limbo is the world of uttermost chaos, but we find comfort there. We are able to use our psionic abilities to bend that reality to our will and make from the chaos, order."

 
[RED]
How does that work?

[AUSTIN]
"(sighs) It's complicated. Our abilities are innate and have painful origins, but essentially the physical world and the psychic world—" and he gestures to the Astral Sea at this point, "—are two sides of a single coin able to affect each other. This manifests even more so than the arcane and divine magics in many different ways, but for us it allows the manipulation of reality through our imposed strength of will."

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
He waves a hand, and he does that same light telekinesis thing where some ropes move.

[RED]
Right.

[AUSTIN]
"This varies depending on where we are. Again, in Limbo we're able to create monasteries of adamantine. But anywhere, yes, I'm able to mimic these effects."

[RED]
"Well, that's really interesting, because all I know how to do is this." And I'll do the astral arms.

[AUSTIN]
Boom! The astral arms come up. Immediately, two things you notice with your good insight is remarkable reflexes, because immediately he starts to go into a defensive; but also remarkable insight and realizes, of course, that there's no real threat here, and relaxes. So before he even fully gets into the 'I'm prepared to defend myself', is at the 'I don't need to defend myself' state.

[RED]
Whoo! Didn't wanna...

 
[AUSTIN]
He observes, goes, "Fascinating. Truly fascinating. As I said, psionics manifest in many different ways. May I?" and he goes to—

[RED]
Oh, yeah, yeah.

[AUSTIN]
He raises a hand as if to place it on your forehead.

[RED]
Uhh, yeah?

[AUSTIN]
He moves his hand closer and stops just before he makes contact, so close you can almost feel the finger, but never actually touching it. Slowly moves it across to your temple. Closes his eyes. "Fascinating. If you're of the monastic traditions, you're familiar with the concept of ki, that which is not supernatural, but extra natural.”

[RED]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
“The life force within a person."

[RED]
Right, yeah. It's all about controlling that and manifesting it physically into these things.

[AUSTIN]
"Yes, it seems that your ki, the meeting of the mind and the body for you, is manifested through a powerful well of psionic energy you have within yourself."

[RED]
Huh.

[AUSTIN]
"It's almost..." He moves to the temple and pauses. "How much do you know of the nature of the psionic ability you possess? Its origins?"

[RED]
Nothing. Everyone at my monastery could do the arms. They didn't look like this, but I just learned how to do it, so.

[AUSTIN]
He says, "Please." Just motions to the hard wooden deck and says, "Sit with me for a moment."

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
He has no sort of Minor Illusions or anything, but enters a meditation state and gestures for you to do the same.

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
"I sense within you a deep well of psionic power, and I was, for the first moment, impressed, but also taken aback, one of your clear skill, though still with much room to learn, would have such a powerful well. But if I may say so, without overstepping, I believe 'you' are in fact a 'we'."

[RED]
Hmm? Wait, like a plural?

[AUSTIN]
He has his eyes closed, so I don't know if you move or anything, but he waits for you to finish asking and says, "Look within yourself."

[RED]
Okay. Alright. I'm gonna close my eyes and look within myself.

[AUSTIN]
You close your eyes. "There are beings, pure psionic energy. Rare, oft unheard of, but very real nonetheless. If I'm correct, I believe one of these to be deeply entwined within you."

[RED]
Oh.

[AUSTIN]
"Separate, but the same." Go ahead, make me a wisdom check. He rolled really high on his wisdom check, by the way.

[RED]
Good job, Enoch. Alright. Wisdom check. (dice clatters) (heh!)

[NOIR]
Whoa! What is this?

[RED]
Oh, okay. Well, I rolled a 12, so that's a 16.

[AUSTIN]
16? Pretty good. You close your eyes and retreat into a meditative state. Enoch goes on and he says some things that you're definitely like— you've maybe never heard them in this order, but definitely some things that you've come to understand. True reality, the physical world and the true self are, as he already said, two sides of the same truth, the same thing that is real. And where they meet, that is the power of ki, that's the power of life.

He says, "The gith strengthen this life with their psionics, as do you. It seems that your strength comes from, though, the true reality and the true self meeting, form their own strength; your person and the sentient life within you, two sides that also form a new strength." And you sense for a moment, with a 16, I think you think back to arriving in the Astral Sea and it feeling right.

[RED]
Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

[AUSTIN]
You finally feeling like there was this other— and maybe it didn't click at the time, but it was definitely, like a dream, that you might hear someone speaking out loud and you dream it as well, it might have seemed like your your own feelings; but more it was almost like someone else's feelings influencing yours, the same way words spoken aloud might influence a dream.

[RED]
Right.

[AUSTIN]
You feel... elation. Recognition. Just an alien feeling that is nonetheless your own, boil within you. It only happens for a moment, but as you open your eyes, there is— the same gold astral projection that forms your arms, you realize there's something over your face, and this is narratively how you unlock your 6th-level ability—

[RED]
Hey! Hahaha.

[AUSTIN]
—to conjure your astral face.

[RED]
Perfect! "Okay, alright. That was... educational. Cool. Well, thanks very much."

[AUSTIN]
He opens his eyes, sees you. He's bathed in a little bit of that golden light and smiles. "It appears I am, perhaps, more knowledgeable than I gave myself credit for."

[RED]
I'd say so. I'd say that seems accurate.

[AUSTIN]
"Please." He stands, he says, "I'm sorry if your training until now has been less than desirable. I hope that this was educational, but also personal, and that you find this suitable repayment for the great deed you have already done me this day."

[RED]
I mean, yeah, no, thanks so much. Honestly, it was already great just to know that being a monk did not have to be what I thought it was.

[AUSTIN]
"No, there are many similarities between those of the monastic traditions across all the planes, but even more numerous are the differences."

 
[RED]
Perfect. Alright.

[AUSTIN]
"I invite you to consider what you have been taught, and the best wisdom I can bestow is to find what is true through experience. Learn of the world as it exists, and protect it in its most natural and right state."

[RED]
Wow. Awesome. I think I'm gonna go stare at the sky for a while until we arrive, wherever we're going.

[SOPHIA]
You hear a (footsteps approaching) get louder. Trap door flies open. Whomp! "Yo, Kyana, I need you to use your big magic arms to move some heavy shit downstairs."

[RED]
Oh, okay. I'll stare at the sky later, then. (laughs) Meditation through work.

[AUSTIN]
Go ahead— as you come up and throw the hatch open, Kyana go ahead and make a perception check for me as you just stare off for a moment, as you Luke Skywalker off into the binary sunset.

[RED]
Alright, let me— where the heck is my perception?

[AUSTIN]
That's two Star Wars references for those keeping track.

[SOPHIA]
I was gonna say, how many Star Wars references will we make this episode? Play along at home!

[RED]
(dice rolls) Aww, Well this time I rolled an eight, so I got a 12.

[AUSTIN]
12? Dexterity of a ship? Yeah, not that great.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, no.

[AUSTIN]
You see, just as Dani says that and you're like, "Oh, yeah, sure, I'll be right there." You catch just out of the corner of your eye, something off in the distance, rapidly approaching. With a 12, you can't really make out what it is, but it's very easy to see stuff out here because it's just a big expanse of nothing. So a 12 is enough to grok that there's something going on.

[RED]
Huh. Okay, in that case, hold that thought. Let's see if we can figure out what that is.

[SOPHIA]
What? Aww. If she's pointing off in the distance, I'll squint at it and see if I can make out what she's pointing at.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. Go ahead and make a perception check.

[SOPHIA]
"Alrighty, let's see what we got here." (dice thonks) Ooh. Not bad. Well, with a minus one, that's a 17 total.

[RED]
Whoa!

[AUSTIN]
17 is really good, though.

[WALLY]
Not bad. Hell, yeah.

[AUSTIN]
You come up to the mast and squint, and you've seen these more, so that's why you're able to clock a little bit, even though Kyana has got sharper eyes and was able to spot it, once it's pointed out to you, you recognize what's approaching as another spelljammer. It's one of the dragonfly ships, so it's sleek and it has wings. It's much faster than your guys' ship. They're smaller, but they're light and maneuverable and fast.

Coming in, it hovers just over the top of the water, and there's a wake being left just from the speed. You also spot, there's something next to it that's flying; with your 17 you clock, because you were the one who helped Enoch out and opened the chest for him. You clock the same shimmering, exact red color of the belt that you saw him put on before.

[RED]
So maybe it is friendly.

[SOPHIA]
Oh man, those ships are so cool. Look at how fast they move. It's like they barely make any ripples, even though they're flying at a speed that we could never even hope to accomplish in a vessel this large. I mean, the aerodynamic design—

[RED]
Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh.

[AUSTIN]
As you say that, you start to hear wings (massive wings flapping) along with the buzz of the dragonfly wings. And you see the red shape: two bat-like wings and an elongated head flying alongside the ship. From either side of the head of this dragonfly, two figures, pale yellow and green skin, dressed in silvered armor with swords, lean out and raise swords. The githyanki war party bears down on the Per Aspera.

[RED]
Guys, I think they might not be friendly.

[SOPHIA]
Enoch, what's a curse word in Gith?

[RED]
(laughs)

[AUSTIN]
(laughs)

[SOPHIA]
I speak that language, but they kinda skip that section in the Gith for Dummies book.

[AUSTIN]
I don't know, I'm not gonna make up fake words.

[RED]
We're not doing this.

[AUSTIN]
You say that, and he turns and looks, and then looks back at you, and then up at where the helm is, where VR-LA is sitting. "Where are we? Where—"

[RED]
Where are we?

[AUSTIN]
"How did you learn of the portal to Avernus that you came through?"

[RED]
Didn't Uncle Oto get told it by the— yeah.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, I don't know, the client gave it to him or something.

[AUSTIN]
"And this is a person you trust?"

[SOPHIA]
Yeah.

[RED]
Uhh...

[NOIR]
Um...

[SOPHIA]
I do.

[RED]
I trust Dani, so.
 

[NOIR]
We are contractually obligated to him. does that count?

[SOPHIA]
He's a good dude.

[AUSTIN]
I think that your contract led you right into gith space.

[RED]
Uh-oh.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, well, eh, that's a risk of interplanar travel.

[RED]
Dani, quick question.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah?

[RED]
Do you want this dragonfly ship? Because I feel like the odds are good we might be able to get this dragonfly ship.

[SOPHIA]
Well, let me put it to you this way: the Per Aspera is sort of like my life's work. So, would I love the opportunity to dismantle one of those dragonfly ships and understand the basic mechanics behind how they work, and possibly integrate some of their technology into the Per Aspera? Absolutely, yes. But— (chuckles) and there's a big but— I don't think realistically that we can just... we can't really tow one the same way that we got those bikes on board. So I think this is going to be more of a smash than a grab situation, y'know?

[RED]
(playfully dejected) Okay.

 
[AUSTIN]
Enoch looks to the few of you. "Are you not experienced with githyanki in any way? I don't think that they'll allow for much time to tow their ship after they've severed your limbs from your body."

[RED]
Oh. That's pleasant.

[SOPHIA]
I will take the opportunity to spend a spell slot to summon my cannon and just go like, "(racks the slide) They can fucking try".

[WALLY]
I'm still washing dishes in the kitchen, by the way. I have *no* idea this is going on.

[AUSTIN]
By the way, it's about this point, as the ship is bearing down, that you see the thing flying aside it: those two huge, leathery wings is, in fact, a red dragon.

[SOPHIA]
(laughs maniacally)

[WALLY]
Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah.

[NOIR]
I'm sorry??

[RED]
Ahh. So...

[AUSTIN]
Gith lore, baby!

[NOIR]
Ex*cuse* me??

[RED]
Alright, so they're faster than us. So this *is* gonna be a fight, right? Like, that's the vibe I'm getting...?

[AUSTIN]
So, this is inside baseball, here's what's up: you guys can handle this situation however you want. Off the top of my head, the three pillars of D&D. Of course, there's combat: you guys can stand and fight, plan however you want; there's roleplay: you guys can try to talk your way out of this, or try to bargain your way out of this, maybe; and there is exploration, which in this case would be like a skill challenge to try and escape or something like that, a skill-based encounter basically, instead of a combat-based encounter.

[RED]
Okay. Well, I guess...

[AUSTIN]
But whatever it is, you guys have to decide fast.

[RED]
Are there any nearby portals to anywhere that we know about?

[AUSTIN]
That's going to be a check from someone who knows that kind of stuff. So probably...

[RED]
Ah. Not me!

[AUSTIN]
Your wizard or your— I was going to say, it's gonna probably be from your wizard or your druid.

[NOIR]
Yeah. Because I'm in the helm anyway, so I was thinking the same thing. Is there any place that we can escape very quickly?

[RED]
Somewhere to park the ship real quick.

 
[AUSTIN]
Alright, so here's what's up: if you guys choose the escape route, here's how skill challenges work— pretty much most of you guys are familiar with, but just so that everyone's on the same page. I set the difficulty of the challenge, you need a certain amount of successes. Three is a very easy challenge (this will be more than three) but you need a certain amount of successes, and then you succeed in whatever it is you're trying to do. If you accumulate three failures before you accumulate the number of successes, then that's when the encounter happens. One or more failures might mean a setback, but the ultimate number of successes is going to dictate whether or not you succeed, which in this case, I assume would be escaping them without combat.

The way you can succeed or fail is, you declare you're going to make some sort of skill check. this can be aided by a spell or a different ability, but the most typical way to do it is just use your skills from your skill list. You pitch to me how you want to do it, or you can ask a question: "Hey, I want to try this. what kind of skill would that be?" But you can also say, "Hey, I want to use my acrobatics because I'm acrobatic." Okay, then I'd say, "How how do you do that?" Pitch something to me. If I believe that's credible, then I'll set it easy. You make a roll, succeed or fail, I mark that down and the skill challenge continues.

So in this case, finding a nearby portal, that's going to be a skill check from whoever's doing it, so in this case, Noir. So VR-LA, go ahead and make me—

[NOIR]
Could I—

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, go ahead.

[NOIR]
Could I say that retroactively I, on the Sending Stones, shoot a little message to Finbar, just letting him know of the situation?

[RED]
But it's so much funnier if he's just in the kitchen with the Mii Channel music going in the background.
 
[NOIR]
I mean, whatever he does after he receives the message is his prerogative.

[RED]
Okay.

[WALLY]
Okay. I kind of hear that, and all of a sudden,— me and the pixies were having a sing-along.

(laughter)

[AUSTIN]
Kumbaya.

[WALLY]
Suds and water splashing all over the kitchen, and I'm gonna have to clean that up later.

[NOIR]
♪ Love is an open door! ♪

[WALLY]
And I hit the top of the stairs, I hit the deck, and all the pixies, as you see soap all over me.

[RED]
(laughs)

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. You come running up; currently, Enoch is cracking knuckles, stretching and looking worried. And you see a ship bearing down at you. Beside it, the vision of a red dragon flying next to it.

[RED]
Yeah, a straight up dragon.

[NOIR]
(despairingly) At level *six*.

 
[RED]
Have any of us actually dealt with dragons before? I haven't.

[NOIR]
(desparingly) No.

[AUSTIN]
I don't think that there's any...

[SOPHIA]
I don't think so...

[AUSTIN]
You guys have seen dragons, there's dragons in Sigil that fly overhead sometimes. There are red dragons in the City of Brass, but they're very rare. Dragons think themselves better than every other living creature, so they tend not to go to places where there's already royalty that thinks themselves better than other living creatures, such as the City of Brass. But they do exist. You know, some of you might have seen a dragon, but none of you have ever faced one before, certainly.

[WALLY]
Would Finbar have run into githyanki patrol before? Would he know how tough they are?

[AUSTIN]
Go ahead and make a history check.

[WALLY]
History check.

[NOIR]
Because we passed by that one spelljammer.

[AUSTIN]
And this is before the skill challenge starts.

[WALLY]
Oh, actually he's a minus two to this, but I rolled a 17.

[RED]
Hey!

[AUSTIN]
Okay. Total 17?

[WALLY]
Total 15.

[AUSTIN]
Total 15. Yeah. So you definitely know githyanki are basically like the pirates of the Astral Sea. They are nasty, they mean business. Definitely not unheard of that they let people go, but— what's the effect with the plane wings, where you hear about sometimes they let people go, but is that half the cases or 2% of the cases? Because those are that survivor bias coming back.

[RED]
Survivorship bias. Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, survivorship bias, yeah. You're not really sure, is it survivorship bias? Like, you heard a couple times, people have encounters and they just kind of raid you and then dump you somewhere and you have to find your way back. But they are definitely a warring people; they come from a city ruled over by a lich queen, who sends them out on war parties to take what's theirs, which they believe to be everything.

[WALLY]
And not the fun kind of parties.

[RED]
No wonder they hang out with dragons.

[SOPHIA]
Yes.

[AUSTIN]
With a higher history check. you might know why there's a dragon there.

[RED]
I have no way of knowing, so. Alright, well, I don't think we lose anything by trying to run initially, but—

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, why not?

[RED]
—y'know, if we mess up, we can still fight them. How many does it look like there are on the dragonfly?

[AUSTIN]
Go ahead, make a perception check. And then we're gonna start the skill challenge.

[RED]
Yes. Good. Alright, perception. There it is. 13!

[AUSTIN]
13? They're pretty far away, but bearing down; at least the two that you can see.

[RED]
I think I'm cool with two githyanki and one red dragon.

[SOPHIA]
Hah...

[AUSTIN]
Cool.

[NOIR]
I admire your optimism.

[AUSTIN]
I would say, actually with a 13, also someone else piloting the ship, y'know?

[RED]
Alright Three and one red dragon.

[AUSTIN]
That'd be a logic thing that you'd at least get.

 
[RED]
I'll be completely honest, I'm mostly focusing on the dragon at this point.

[NOIR]
Fair enough.

[AUSTIN]
Easy to focus on, yeah. You guys all gather, Fin comes running up. VR-LA, you lean forward and consult the map of the Astral Sea you have in front of you. Go ahead and make me an arcana check.

[NOIR]
Yessir. Eh, uhh... Arcana? Okay... 14.

[RED]
It's not bad.

[AUSTIN]
14? Let's see... I need to set DCs beforehand going forward, I always forget to do that. Because I would say— yeah, I'd say 14 would be a success.

[RED]
Nice.

[AUSTIN]
Because it's not that hard to look at the map and— you guys would get an answer. Looking at the map and finding the nearest portal is fine. You have to, on a dime, find that portal and then immediately set your heading, right? That's really what the arcana check is about.

You go ahead and look: the nearest portal to you— you've been traveling for a couple hours now, so you're no longer nearest to Hell. Instead, the nearest portal is to the world Acheron.

[RED]
Is that good?

[AUSTIN]
Acheron is also known as the Infinite Battlefield.

[RED]
Hmm. Sounds festive!

[NOIR]
We'll fit right in.

[AUSTIN]
Literally, cosmologically, it's next to Hell. I fully rolled a random table to see which portal you were gonna get, because like I said, it doesn't matter, the portals just exist.

[WALLY]
That's funny.

[AUSTIN]
And I was like, "Where's the— oh, it's Acheron. Awesome."

[RED]
Gotcha.

[SOPHIA]
Hell, yeah.

[RED]
Six-six-eight: neighbor of the Beast.

[WALLY]
Alright.

[SOPHIA]
Awesome.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, six-six-five, neighbor of the Beast.

[RED]
Well, that might be a literal frying pan/fire situation, but eh.

[AUSTIN]
The whole ship banks underneath you and turns as one of the three masts that's in the water fully comes up, skims the surface, as the ship makes a hard turn to port to begin— VR-LA, under your control— to begin making its way towards Acheron.

[NOIR]
I have good news and bad news: I have found a portal out of the Astral Sea.

[WALLY]
Hey, where'd it go?

[SOPHIA]
Oh, great.

[RED]
Woo!

[NOIR]
It is to the Eternal Battlefield.

[SOPHIA]
Oh. Less great.

[RED]
Yeah!

[WALLY]
That don't sound good.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, that tracks.

[RED]
We'll probably only be in there for a little while, right?

[SOPHIA]
"Eh, it'll be fine." So knowing that we're heading for battle, but also that we are currently possibly in one, the flamethrower is on the deck, right?

[AUSTIN]
Yes, the flamethrower is on the deck, not set up.

 
[SOPHIA]
Alright, so... (laughs)

[RED]
Oh, no.

[SOPHIA]
So movement in this world, it's by thought power, so I don't know if there's much... My first thought, Sophia's first thought: Dani has an intelligence of 'very high', Sophia has an intelligence of 'very low'. Could I use the flamethrower positioned at the back of the boat to sort of, like, speed us up to like—

[NOIR]
You wanna set up a nitro boost?

[SOPHIA]
I wanna set up a nitro boost!

[RED]
I was gonna ask if two of us try to pilot the ship at the same time, does it double our speed?

[AUSTIN]
It certainly doesn't double your speed to have two people on the same time.

[RED]
Dangit!

[AUSTIN]
Oh, my god.

[SOPHIA]
I know that's technically not how transportation works in this realm, but I'm wondering if, for a short burst, if that could give us just a little edge towards the portal.

[AUSTIN]
I like it. I like the nitro boost idea. I don't think pointing a flamethrower at the back— it's a ship. Even putting flame out the back— it shoots a jet of flame, it's a weapon.

[RED]
It doesn't have a kickback that'll move the ship.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah.

[NOIR]
If there was kickback, it would have to be attached to the ship also, not you. It's not a big leaf blower.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, that too. I like this idea; simmer it down a little bit for me.

[RED]
*You* get nitro boosted all the way through the portal, but you leave the ship behind.

[AUSTIN]
(laughs) Yeah, Dani— (balloon air escaping)

[RED]
Just you and Acheron with a flamethrower and no ship. Like she's holding on to a helium balloon.

(laughter)

[SOPHIA]
To sort of game out this nitro boost idea, I also have the spell Thunderwave.

[RED]
Oh, no.

[SOPHIA]
And my follow-up question is if we tied a rope to Dani, she jumps off the back tied to the ship, and I Thunderwaved us— because that does have a push effect to it in the spell. Would that then work? (laughs)

[AUSTIN]
What level is Thunderwave? I'm pretty sure it's—

[SOPHIA]
I would have to cast it at first level.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, I don't know that a 1st-level Thunderwave is gonna really boost your ship. Again, I like the idea.

[SOPHIA]
Yes.

[AUSTIN]
Is there something you wanna do with the engines or something? It's not really an engine.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah. Failing the nitro boost initial plan...

[AUSTIN]
. The helm converts magical power to force motive, as we all know.

[NOIR]
Overclock this PC.

[RED]
Yeah, take us to warp nine!

[AUSTIN]
Yeah.

[NOIR]
Yeah.

[SOPHIA]
Dani, seeing what's happening, is gonna close the trap door, hustle her little self down the stairs to the engine room, and just start going into full Scotty from Star Trek mode. I'm just overclocking anything I can get my hands on, trying to get any amounts of speed out of these mechanics as I can, just trying to make sure the ship is as functional as possible while we are pushing it to its limits. So any maintenance or upkeep in that regard. R.I.P. to nitro boost, you are on the list to add for later.

 
[AUSTIN]
You know how to get this thing to go faster, that's not a question. Can you get it to go faster without breaking it? That's your DC.

[RED]
I'm gonna say that we don't want to get stranded in Acheron.

[SOPHIA]
It'll be fine.

[RED]
That would be very bad.

[AUSTIN]
There you go. So, pushing it without breaking it, let's set this at a DC of... 18. Go ahead and use your tinker's tools, which— do you have expertise in those? You're a 6th-level artificer.

[SOPHIA]
I believe I do, let me double-check. Let me check my features and traits for class features there. "Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make that uses your proficiency with a tool". So yes.

[AUSTIN]
There you go. So go ahead and make me a tinkerer's tools check. And you're going to add intelligence, and then double your proficiency for this.

[SOPHIA]
Noice.

[AUSTIN]
DC... what did I say? 18 or 19? 18? DC 18.

[RED]
18.

[NOIR]
Ten. Ten.

[RED]
(snickers)

[AUSTIN]
(snickers) DC 10.

[RED]
You actually said she could take 20 on this, so.

[WALLY]
Yeah.

[NOIR]
Yeah.

[SOPHIA]
Okay, okay, I didn't roll terribly. You said it's intelligence plus double my proficiency?

[AUSTIN]
Yep.

[SOPHIA]
So, natural 16 plus six, it's gonna bring us to 22—

[AUSTIN]
Oh, that's really good!

[SOPHIA]
—plus intelligence, so that's gonna be plus three to that baby. We are above 25 on this!

[RED]
Yeah!

[SOPHIA]
Give me that nitro boost!

[AUSTIN]
You know this ship, the ship is like your baby. You come down, Plug following right behind you, worried. Plug goes right on top of the engine to watch you work, fully in little, nervous pounce mode. And you start going around.

First thing, you gotta up the input; there's a pipe, essentially, that moves the magical energy drawn from the Weave from the helm down to the force motivator. Increase the input on that. You see it starts to, the deft turn of the knob, the metal starts to bulge just a little bit, but doesn't break. And then immediately you go to— there are dispersers that basically move the whole ship instead of just pushing the engine, which would blast it out the back of the ship. There's specific parts that hold the whole ship together, and you also increase the strength of those. It's gonna be taxing, might need to spend a day just tuning things up after all this is over in some sort of dry dock, the ship. But the ship is going to hold together for this.

That is your second success. Boom! Everyone else feels the ship start to push faster. All three masts start to creak. And yeah, you gotta Subway Surf for a moment as your bodies catch up with the momentum of the ship.

[SOPHIA]
A full 30 seconds after the ship has already started moving faster, Dani slams the Sending Stones that are pulled out, like, "Oh, you guys might wanna hold on," after it is no longer helpful.

[WALLY]
Finbar is already strapped down. The second he saw her go down he's like, "Mm-mm. Uh-huh. Mm-mm".

[SOPHIA]
Seatbelts on.

[NOIR]
Austin, also, that was some A+ arcanotechnobabble.

[RED]
Yeah.

[SOPHIA]
Yes, very good.

[AUSTIN]
Thank you. I thought about writing down technobabble before, and then I didn't, because I forgot, so I had to just make that up.

[RED]
We need a random technobabble chart, y'know? Like, you roll a couple d100 on it.

[SOPHIA]
Roll a d100, pick from the first column.

[AUSTIN]
They exist, but not for magical stuff.
[NOIR]
Reverse the neutron flow and...

[RED]
Yeah, yeah.

[WALLY]
Yeah.

[RED]
Redirect auxiliary power.

[SOPHIA]
Nanite levels depleted.

[AUSTIN]
Alright, so here's what's up: one more success, and you guys are gonna make it through the portal to Acheron. And things are gonna get easier.

[RED]
Differently.

[AUSTIN]
So we need one more check. Another rule of skill challenges is you may not attempt the same skill twice. So, Dani, now that you've performed a tinker's tools check, you cannot attempt another tinker's tools check. Someone else could. Dani, you can try something else yourself. And it's not like everyone needs to go. It's not like now that VR-LA and Dani have gone, it's not like it needs to be Finbar, Kyana. But of course, you guys are gonna start running out of good skills, if only VR-LA or only Dani starts making checks.

 
[RED]
Let's see if there's any way I can make this an insight check for me.

[AUSTIN]
(laughs)

[RED]
(laughs) Want that tasty plus seven one of these days.

[AUSTIN]
Hey, listen, if you can justify it to me, you can make the roll, y'know?

[RED]
Huh...

[NOIR]
I would like to pray to a god. Does that give me plus seven on my religion check?

(laughter)

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, DC 30. Since you've never been religious before this point.

[WALLY]
How close... ...are these ships?

[AUSTIN]
Good question. You guys are at two successes, you're just starting to boot out. Let me ask, how close do you want to be? Because so far they're keeping on your tail. You have a lot of speed; if you want to get in range of something, then you could feasibly slow down to do it. But I'd say probably 200 feet? You're out of range of— you see two on the front bring around what look like harpoon flingers. You're definitely out of range of those because they haven't flung harpoons at you yet.

[WALLY]
Alright.

[RED]
I hope they try. I can catch those.

[WALLY]
I wanna hit it with my longbow.

[RED]
Oh, hahah!

[SOPHIA]
Yes.

[AUSTIN]
Okay.

[WALLY]
I'm gonna say, "Hey Ginger, get the longbow!" and the pixies come bring the longbow off of— I don't particularly use it. And I take Ginger, and I put her on the arrowhead.

[RED]
Oh my god.

[WALLY]
And essentially, if I can hit this thing— I can hit either the dragon or one of the ships, and I can knock it back 15 feet. Just give us a little bit more room to get away.

[SOPHIA]
Ooh, we're doing force?

[AUSTIN]
Alright.

[RED]
Is there a way I can do a help action on that with my insight?

[AUSTIN]
(laughs) No.

[RED]
Like, "Oh, aim for that part."

 
[AUSTIN]
Okay. I like this idea. Is there a strength save or something involved with the...

[WALLY]
Yes. So, one, it's technically outside of the inner range, which is 150 feet, so I'd be shooting at disadvantage. But if it hits, then it has to make a strength save and then it's knocked back 15 feet. Hold up, unless there's a size requirement...

[NOIR]
This is a feature of you as a ranger, or the pixie or...?
[WALLY]
Swarm Keeper, yeah.

[NOIR]
Ahh.

[AUSTIN]
I love this idea. Just so you know, for weighing your odds, the dragon is definitely gonna be harder to hit. The ship is just a big ship made out of wood. The dragon is gonna be harder to hit, but the dragon does not have as good— moving a whole ship, it's gonna have a hefty strength save. The dragon does not have nearly as good a strength save. It's still a dragon, but. So that's— Y'know, one's going to be harder to hit, but easier to move; the other is going to be easier to hit, but harder to move. And you need both to go off for a success. But I like this a lot.

[WALLY]
I don't have a lot of options, so this is the only thing I'm gonna do

[AUSTIN]
Alright.

[WALLY]
So if Kyana wants to give me the help action, I can roll this straight. If not...

[RED]
Yeah, yeah, I definitely wanna do that. I've got nothing else to do right now, at least.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. So here's how help actions work. My game is you have to be better at the thing you're doing than the person you're helping. Otherwise they would be helping you, right?

[RED]
Oh...

[WALLY]
Okay, yeah.

[AUSTIN]
But you do have a higher DEX than Finbar, I'm pretty sure.

[RED]
I do! Let me— Well, what's my— my DEX is 17, yes. Statistically, I probably do.

[WALLY]
Mine is 13.

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
Do you have proficiency with martial weapons?

[RED]
I think? Let me just check. That would be...

[NOIR]
Yeah, you're a monk, right?

[RED]
Yeah. I've got proficiency with simple weapons, yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, I think a bow is a martial weapon, so you wouldn't have proficiency. But plus what dexterity? You have plus three?

[RED]
It's plus three, yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. And Fin, what's your bonus to hit with the bow?

[WALLY]
Plus four.

[AUSTIN]
Okay, yeah.

[WALLY]
That's DEX plus proficiency.
[AUSTIN]
Yeah, Fin is a little bit better at it than you are. So I don't know that you can actually help him shoot.

[RED]
Alright. Well, maybe the next time they try and shoot a harpoon I'll just use my reaction to catch it.

[AUSTIN]
See, that would be... That's good thinking.

[RED]
But they need to actually do it. I can't, like—

[AUSTIN]
They need to get in range. See, if you make a failure and they catch up, then that's gonna happen, at which point you can do that. And that would be pretty dope, so.

[RED]
Perfect!

[WALLY]
Then I will just use... Bonus action, I will Zephyr Strike, then, to give myself advantage on this hit.

[AUSTIN]
Hot damn. Okay. Who are you shooting? Ship or dragon.

 
[WALLY]
I'm gonna say, let's do the ship.

[AUSTIN]
Ship? Okay.

[WALLY]
So this is straight, technically.

[AUSTIN]
Let me double-check, I think the AC of wood is just 15. Yeah, 15.

[WALLY]
Okay. 19.

[AUSTIN]
19! Hot damn, yeah.

[RED]
Yeah, baby!

[AUSTIN]
Boom! Goes flying out, and you see the arrow with Ginger, the little fairy. For a brief moment, hear, "...Ahh!" She disappears. Alright, let me double-check the strength saving throw of this ship real quick.

[SOPHIA]
Are all of your fairies named after spices?

[WALLY]
Yes.

[SOPHIA]
I love them!

[AUSTIN]
I thought they were named after the characters from Gilligan's Island.

(laughter)

[NOIR]
No, they're the Spice Girls.

[RED]
Yeah, I was gonna say.

[SOPHIA]
Petition to call our party 'The Spice Girls'. It fits too, because we had all that spicy omelet discourse in the first episode. It thematically works.

[RED]
Yeah, yeah. It's all coming together.

[AUSTIN]
I guess it doesn't really have proficiency with the strength save, so it's got a good strength score, but it's actually not that much better than the dragon's.

[WALLY]
Alright. The DC is 16.

[AUSTIN]
What is the DC? DC 16, okay. So he's gotta roll a 12. If he rolls a 12, he makes this. That's a natural two.

[RED]
Natural two!

[AUSTIN]
Boom! You see the arrow goes off, and Finbar, go ahead and describe how this could possibly— Now, maybe it's too late to ask this, but does it specify the size of a creature? For the ability?

[WALLY]
No, it does not.

[AUSTIN]
It doesn't? Okay!

[WALLY]
I double-checked and it does not specify.

[SOPHIA]
Force effects are fantastic.

[RED]
Tiny pixie judo throwing the entire ship.

[AUSTIN]
So go ahead and rationalize to me how your Feywild swarm magic with one pixie that you sent is gonna move the ship back.

[WALLY]
So the rest of the pixies, all of a sudden, crowd on my arm, and they send all their energy to Ginger. As she holds on to this arrow, it flies the 200 feet across the Astral Sea; she kisses her fist, and as the arrow impacts the hull of the ship she punches it and knocks it 15 feet away.

[RED]
You know that bit in Avengers, when the Hulk punches the leviathan and it just crumples up?

[AUSTIN]
It's not gonna do that, but you definitely bought yourself some time. As you see, the arrow traces with a thin bit of silvery light arcs, and there's just a trail of that light behind it as it flies, hits the ship, and the whole thing shudders. The two githyanki on the helm grab on to the spear launchers and hold themselves aboard, as (boom!) the whole thing shudders backwards— that's three successes— buys you guys just enough time. The portal appears in front of you. You see— I believe it's flame-red, actually.

[SOPHIA]
Ooh.

[RED]
Oh, huzzah!

[AUSTIN]
Flame-red, yes. You see a flame-red portal here in the water before you.

[RED]
Looks inviting.

 
[AUSTIN]
The ship, faster than you've ever gone before through one of these things, skims across the top and then turns and plummets in. For a moment there's darkness, and then you rise up out of what appears to be just flame, coming out of a big, smoking wreck of some kind, and you guys come sailing through that.

Immediately, it's like in the first new Star Trek movie when they drop out, the surprise attack on— yeah. When they drop out and it's just chaos, that's exactly what happens. You guys drop into this plane and you're floating in what looks like an infinite, red-orange glowing void. If you look in the distance, it just gets obscured by smoke eventually, and all around you, you see these giant metal cubes. It's sort of hard to peg distance, but they are like asteroids pinging around. Some of them are house-sized, but most of them, they could be cities. And there are even some that are so far away it's hard to tell, are they small and close, or are they the size of a continent and just really far away?

You appear and there's two of them, slowly (slowly for their size, actually quite quickly) coming at each other. Immediately the sound hits your ear, sounds like the ringing of a thousand swords banging against each other. This whole plane is deafeningly loud, and as you see two cubes collide in the distance, there's almost a moment where there's no sound, and then it hits you all. Almost like standing too close to a firework, you can hear it off in that distance, (dull ringing).

As you approach through, you sail out of this fire and through the smoke. The two that are in front of you, they're slowly moving towards each other; you see *tons* of figures standing on each face. Wherever you stand, gravity is just down. Running along, you see an army curve over one corner and come to face another one. An army of what looks like skeletons and withered husks of bodies wrapped in all these ancient armors against an army of red-skinned, broad-nosed hobgoblins just facing down each other in this enormous, endless war.

Welcome to Acheron, the Infinite Battlefield.

[SOPHIA]
Cozy.

[RED]
Great. Awesome.

[AUSTIN]
What would you like to do?

[RED]
How long before we can Planeshift out of here?
[NOIR]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
You used your daily Planeshift, so.

[RED]
What??

[NOIR]
R.I.P.!

[AUSTIN]
You can always go back through the portal. You can go back out the way you came.

[RED]
It's once a day?!

[WALLY]
No, no.

[AUSTIN]
Yep! You can cast Planeshift once a day, with the thing.

[RED]
Okay.

[NOIR]
Uh-oh.

[SOPHIA]
Alright, well.

[RED]
I didn't know that!

[NOIR]
We never had to Planeshift more than once a day, so this is new to me as well. I was not the original pilot of this ship.

[SOPHIA]
As we're entering in here, I'd like to keep an eye behind us to make sure we're not being followed into this portal by, like, a red dragon and two gith, per se.

[RED]
Honestly, if that does happen, I think we can just juke around them and go back through the portal.

[AUSTIN]
Go ahead. I'd say— no, it's fairly obvious, yeah. They follow through. The chase is not yet done. They've followed you through.

[RED]
Dangit!

[NOIR]
Dangit!

[WALLY]
Oh, no!

[AUSTIN]
But you guys have reached three successes. As you guys come out— no, three successes was you made it to Acheron. So now you have a lot more options.

[SOPHIA]
Alright, so there's a bunch of floating Borg cubes everywhere, right?

[RED]
Yeah, I don't think we wanna get near those.

[NOIR]
We've now done more Star Trek references than Star Wars references.

 
[SOPHIA]
Yeah, that's true. Please keep a tally back at home. Will Star Trek or Star Wars be referenced more in this episode? Truly, it could go either way.

[RED]
(ahem) I've got a bad feeling about this! Alright, we're back on balance.

[SOPHIA]
I did the Astral Sea run in only 12 parsecs. (laughs) Yes.

[NOIR]
(chuckles)

[RED]
This is already *so* bad.

[AUSTIN]
Does anyone have any skills they would like to bring to bear? There's chaos all around you, there's lots going on.

[SOPHIA]
So, these cubes are shifting. Are there any of them that look like they're moving towards each other in a way that if we speed it on through, they'd close behind us?

[AUSTIN]
Oh, yeah. The two in front of you are gonna collide.

[RED]
You wanna trench run this shit??

[SOPHIA]
Here's my pitch!

[NOIR]
Yeah!

[AUSTIN]
Oh, they're not perfect cubes either, there's pock marks. There's fully big holes in them that go through, or maybe inside.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, yes. You can't really tell from here, but there's definitely...

[WALLY]
They look like cheese? These are cheese cubes?

[SOPHIA]
Here's my pitch.

[AUSTIN]
Uhh, yeah! They kinda look like big cheese cubes.

[SOPHIA]
We try and skirt on through these two to lose the guys behind us.

[RED]
We do??

[SOPHIA]
My thought is that if we have VR-LA trying to do that as speedily as possible... "Finbar, can I borrow your pixies? Can they do, like, aerials?"

[RED]
What?

[SOPHIA]
"Like, displays? can they make shapes and shit?"

[RED]
What??

[WALLY]
...Yeah?

[SOPHIA]
Alright.

(laughter)

[SOPHIA]
Here's what i'm thinking.

[AUSTIN]
Please, please. Please explain to me what the hell you mean.

[SOPHIA]
I speak Gith, so I'm thinking if I direct the pixies to make a big arrow and point in the other direction, which is like, 'watch out' in Gith, so that we can slide on through while they're distracted, and hopefully they don't make it through the same hole as us.

[RED]
Uh-huh?

[NOIR]
God, Enoch must be regretting rolling with us.

[AUSTIN]
'Watch out' in Gith? (laughs) Yeah, if anyone wants to talk to Enoch or anything, they definitely can as well.

[SOPHIA]
Enoch! This is how you say 'watch out', right?

[RED]
Oh, god.

[AUSTIN]
"Ye— ...yes?"

[NOIR]
Enoch, do you have any...

[AUSTIN]
"Explain your intention."

[SOPHIA]
To distract them so that it's easier for us to skirt through without being followed. Because I think if we can get out of their line of sight, we can do a little fancy bobbing and weaving and hopefully be able to, you know, lose them a little bit. Shake 'em.

 
[RED]
I'm starting to feel like these are the things we need to worry *least* about in this dimension.

[AUSTIN]
He grabs a rope and leans over to look back at them, to make sure they're following. And then he turns back to you. He goes, "They followed you into the plane of Infinite War. I don't know if they're concerned about their own safety enough to pay attention to a sign."

[RED]
That's extremely fair.

[SOPHIA]
What if the sign was an arrow pointing to one of the armies and it said, 'that dude called your mom a ho'? Would that be distracting?

[RED]
(laughs)

[AUSTIN]
"They're easily angered, but also relentless. So... even odds?"

[RED]
Mm...

[SOPHIA]
I dunno, I think it's worth a try.

"I do think that the crux of the idea of trying to juke through the cubes is probably the most important part here, but I really think we should give it due time to this. What can we say to distract them?" (laughs) I'm so sorry, guys.

[RED]
Do we even have enough pixies for an aerial display of that granularity?

[WALLY]
Nope! No, we do not.

[RED]
Okay!

[AUSTIN]
No, he's got, like, seven.

[RED]
Yeah...

[AUSTIN]
Six, now.

[RED]
We can get them to spell out the YMCA.

[WALLY]
Well, Ginger will find her way back home. Don't worry about Ginger. They always find their way back home.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, she's fey, so she died. She's back in the Feywild

[RED]
Ahh.

[SOPHIA]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
Also, she did bug on a windshield. So.

[RED]
Oh, no.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, no!

[AUSTIN]
But she's back in the Feywild.

[RED]
She went out like a hero. Okay, practical question: how many more hours before we can Planeshift back?

[NOIR]
Well, we just Planeshifted.

[AUSTIN]
Let's see: you Planeshifted about two or three hours ago, so...
[RED]
What??

[AUSTIN]
21?

[NOIR]
Yeah...

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, you Planeshifted back here.

[RED]
Aaugh.

[SOPHIA]
Okay, to make a skill check of this whole situation, could I—

[AUSTIN]
But you can get back through the portal.

[RED]
There's a dragon between us and the portal!

[AUSTIN]
That's true!

[WALLY]
We could juke them out, do a quick U-turn?

[RED]
That's actually true, yeah.

[AUSTIN]
It's crazy. I don't know how you're gonna get out of this.

 
[NOIR]
But they just follow us back out, right?

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, I think we need to lose them before we can get back through, or else they're just gonna keep following us.

[RED]
I don't know if that's accurate!

[AUSTIN]
I mean, listen: juking them out is definitely possible, just a sheer, like, ‘can we get around them?’ But it's gonna be a high DC because they're smaller, faster, and more maneuverable than you. You're piloting like a galleon, they're in a big dragonfly.

[SOPHIA]
I think we trench run this.

[WALLY]
We're running out of options, and we might have to fight these guys.

[SOPHIA]
Could I make, maybe, an investigation check to see if there's a good route?

[AUSTIN]
I mean, if you wanna trench run, trench run is a ship flying— Yes! A good route is exactly... Would it be investigation or perception?

[SOPHIA]
Ooh, I really hope it's investigation!

[AUSTIN]
That is a great use of an ability. Definitely, you're gonna be able to do that.

[RED]
Would it perhaps be insight?

 
[AUSTIN]
A trench run, that's gonna be, like, ship maneuvering, which is gonna be like a piloting check, which is— well, if someone tries that, I'll explain how it works.

[NOIR]
That would be more VR-LA.

[AUSTIN]
But yeah. Go ahead and roll an investigation check.
[SOPHIA]
Oh, thank god.

[AUSTIN]
You're looking for two things: something big enough to fit the ship, and something deep enough to like— you're not just going to run into a crater. I'd say call this a DC 14. Go ahead and roll. It's not gonna be too hard to find that.

[SOPHIA]
(dice rolls) Ohh, natural 20! Plus six!

[RED]
Oh, thank goodness.

[AUSTIN]
Natural 20? Yeah. You immediately spy, as one corner of a cube is turning, you see one that's about to disappear, like, "Okay, we can make it in there." You direct VR-LA.

[SOPHIA]
That way!

[AUSTIN]
And yeah, you feel the ship subtly tilt to get ready to make this bank into this hole. That's another success. You guys are at four successes, no failures. What are you guys so worried about? This is fine.

[RED]
Oh, yeah. Everything about this situation is fine.

 
[NOIR]
The moment the party gets cocky, that's the end of it all.

[WALLY]
If we smash into one of these cubes, we're fucked.

[AUSTIN]
You guys just go.

[RED]
We're so fucked.

[AUSTIN]
I assume VR-LA is dashing this whole time.

[NOIR]
Oh, absolutely.

[SOPHIA]
Guys, it's fine! It's just like the end of A New Hope, where they have to fly into the Death Star to blow it up from the inside.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. So it's, what, 120 feet in six seconds? So that's 20 feet a second.

[NOIR]
VR-LA is sweating oil.

[AUSTIN]
You just go that fast.

[SOPHIA]
Just dab them off.

[AUSTIN]
Actually faster because— yeah. If you've seen the— it's probably not a great time to talk about Overwatch, but the short with Ashe where just a bead of oil runs down B.O.B.'s head. That's exactly...

 
[SOPHIA]
Yeah, I'll send Plug over to VR-LA to lick the oil off of his face plate to clean him up. Keep it clear.

[AUSTIN]
VR-LA, more focused than you've ever seen him. And a cat comes over with a tongue literally coated in sandpaper and just scratches off his face, licking.

[NOIR]
This is not a great time to maybe reveal that my headcanon for VR-LA is that when Dani was programming him, or reprogramming him or Plug, something happened where VR-LA's synapses fire in wrong ways whenever Plug is around, like some sort of interference.

[RED]
No!

[WALLY]
You gave him allergies?

[NOIR]
Yeah, this is my headcanon that VR-LA is allergic to Plug.

(laughter)

[RED]
You've got opposite polarities somewhere important.

[NOIR]
But not enough to actually affect the skill challenge.

[RED]
Oh, my god.

[AUSTIN]
Your eyes water just a *little* bit of grease.

[NOIR]
Would it be credible to then have a piloting skill check to jump off of Dani's investigation?

[AUSTIN]
Absolutely.

[NOIR]
Okay, cool.

[AUSTIN]
So piloting skill check is gonna be the thing that you use for your spells. So this is your intelligence, your spell ability, intelligence. If you have proficiency with any kind of vehicle— I don't know if specifically with air vehicles is even a thing in D&D, but water and land vehicles are. If you have proficiency in vehicles, you get to add vehicles.

[NOIR]
VR-LA is actually proficient in water vehicles!
[RED]
Really?

[AUSTIN]
He is? Oh, hell yes, I didn't know that! You get to add your proficiency to this then.

[NOIR]
Okay. Awesome.

[AUSTIN]
So yeah, go ahead and add intelligence plus proficiency. You're going full trench run.

[RED]
Is there a way to help this?

[AUSTIN]
It's a hard DC, it's DC 20.

[RED]
Bro. Is there any way to help?

[AUSTIN]
You're not gonna blow up the ship. I don't know, is there a way to take the help action? You're not better at piloting than he is.

[RED]
I'm not, but I can act as a spotter if that's helpful.

[AUSTIN]
You wanna act as a spotter? Go ahead— okay.

[RED]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
You want to do an assisted check? Here's what's up: you wanna do a perception check or something to guide the way?

[RED]
I'd prefer to make an insight check, y'know, if I'm picking.

[AUSTIN]
Okay, let's call this a perception check. Let's call this a DC 12 perception check.

[WALLY]
If it's a perception check, I should probably make it. If you want to do that, yeah. Whoever wants to lead—

[RED]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. My perception's plus four.

[WALLY]
I have plus ten.

[RED]
Okay, yeah. Okay, yeah. Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Finbar: DC 12 perception check. If you succeed on this, I'm going to lower the DC by two down to 18 for VR-LA.

[WALLY]
Okay. Fair enough. Yeah, I got an 18.

[RED]
Oh, nice.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, yeah. Hell yeah! Yeah, so you go and you're immediately ready to call out, and you see where he's about to bank, there's a lip of metal that's torn and sticking out, and you're immediately able to call out to him to make the bank a little bit wider than he should have. And basically that's what you'll be doing as he continues this trench run. Alright, VR-LA, go ahead. Roll intelligence plus proficiency plus two.

[SOPHIA]
Come on, VR-LA!

[RED]
And please do a good job.

[NOIR]
That's a natural 20!
[RED]
Oh my god! Woo!

[SOPHIA]
Hell, yeah!

[NOIR]
So that's plus nine? Yeah. 29!

[AUSTIN]
29?? Jesus Christ.

[RED]
Wow.

[SOPHIA]
Cube juke, cube juke, cube juke!

[AUSTIN]
Oh my god. You guys, that's two successes. Er, another success.

[WALLY]
VR-LA puts his hand on one tiny little button and it just swoop!

 
[NOIR]
Oh, what does this button do?

[SOPHIA]
Autopilot activated.

[RED]
Please tell me the dragon just flattens into the side.

[AUSTIN]
The ship Tokyo Drifts around, swings, and then full power forward through. It's got three masts, so it's huge, but there's a gravity generator to keep you guys going down. So you guys are stuck to the ship, and it's turning in this thing. We're going full Star Wars trench run, through the center of this cube. Fantastic.

[SOPHIA]
This is all I've ever wanted.

[AUSTIN]
You guys see, there's troops running all around through inside this cube here. You see a couple of these skeletons that are dressed in the plate see the ship going past, and they're going to jump off and land on the deck of the ship.

[RED]
Are you kidding me??

[AUSTIN]
That's right, it's a combat in the middle of a skill challenge, baby!

[SOPHIA]
Point of order: I did summon an eldritch cannon when the gith first appeared, so it would be around.

[AUSTIN]
Yep. You got it.

[SOPHIA]
Can I have set that to a Force Ballista? Because that's my go-to.

 
[AUSTIN]
Hell, yes.

[SOPHIA]
And as I see these skeletons jumping, is there any chance Dani could react to try and hit one or two of them? To try and keep multiple ones from the jump? Because the Force Ballista knocks them back, try and just keep them from getting onto the ship's gravity.

[AUSTIN]
So here's what's gonna happen: we'll say that when their turn hits in combat, that's when they're gonna land on the ship. So if you go before them in combat, you can fully blast them out of the air. And without even killing them, maybe keep them off the ship.

[SOPHIA]
Sounds good.

[AUSTIN]
Go ahead and enter Roll20.

[RED]
This is such a mess. Everything about this is a nightmare.

[NOIR]
Oh, it's a cube. That's what it is.

[SOPHIA]
I'm having a great time. I don't know about you guys.

[RED]
(laughs)

[AUSTIN]
No, it's not that many. You guys are doing well. If you guys had accumulated a failure then there would be a lot more. But you guys are so far, so good. So it's actually probably—

[NOIR]
Could VR-LA take a peek at Enoch and just see... how he's doing? Is Enoch okay?

[AUSTIN]
Make an insight check. Oh, sure.

[SOPHIA]
Enoch is just going full Doctor Strange at the helm, trying to run the permutations to see how we get out of this alive.

[NOIR]
I know, I feel so bad. I was like, "Oh, let's be nice and drop him off at Sigil. Oh, now he's gotta deal with his mortal enemy."

[SOPHIA]
How do you feel about Avernus instead? I hear it's lovely this time of year.

[RED]
To be fair, skeletons aren't his mortal enemy, it's the gith that are the problem.

[NOIR]
This is true. I rolled a 15, actually, insight-wise.

[AUSTIN]
He's pretty hard to read, Like, his day is not going great, but also you saved him from being killed, so he's pretty happy about that. Yeah, he seems to be taking all of this in stride. He is, above all, a practiced warrior, and he's very mind over matter, so.

[RED]
(gasps) I have a question. Can the skeletons launching themselves at us count as ranged attacks? For me to catch and throw back? Please??

[WALLY]
Now that's the question. That's the question.

[AUSTIN]
I promise you'll get to throw something back one day.

[RED]
Okay.

 
[AUSTIN]
Hey, if the bad guys get close enough, they're gonna shoot harpoons at you.

[NOIR]
Let Kyana throw something!

[RED]
(laughs) Let me catch something that isn't friendly fire.

[SOPHIA]
Is this our car chase episode? Are we in that point in the Indiana Jones movie, where you spend 30 minutes just running through different locales in a very fast vehicle? Because it's starting to feel like maybe we're in our car chase episode.

[RED]
Ah, it's our patented Dreamworks 'getting from point A to point B' sequence. Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, we're gonna light speed skip to a bunch of different worlds. That's another Star Wars one for you. Except that one shouldn't be canon.

[SOPHIA]
Yes, we're gonna run past the pyramids of Giza. It's like that scene in the Sonic movie. Y'know, when he's running really fast?

[AUSTIN]
Yes, it's exactly like that scene in the Sonic movie.

[RED]
Yeah, yeah, when he's throwing the rings.

[WALLY]
Wait, wait. You've *seen* the Sonic movie?

[SOPHIA]
Yeah. You *haven't* seen Sonic the Hedgehog?

 
[NOIR]
The cinematic milestone, the Sonic movie.

[WALLY]
Yep.

[RED]
Unironically, a very fun time.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, James Marsden was great.

[RED]
I love how Idris Elba was like, "Guys, I won't be doing a sexy voice for Knuckles," as if he has a choice.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, my god.

[AUSTIN]
He knows the effect he has on women, to quote himself.

[WALLY]
Can we close this can of worms, please?

(laughter)

[AUSTIN]
Can: open. Worms: everywhere.

[SOPHIA]
How high would I have to roll to make Idris Elba somehow canon in the universe of Rolling with Difficulty?

[RED]
Maybe Enoch is voiced by Idris Elba.

[SOPHIA]
Oh.

 
[AUSTIN]
I'd have to spend some time learning to do Idris Elba voice. If you'd like a Patrick Warburton to exist, that one I'll do for you.

(laughter)

[NOIR]
Can we have Buzz Lightyear of Star Command be canon?

[SOPHIA]
Buzz Lightyear ex machina.

[AUSTIN]
I don't know if I could do a Tim Allen. But I did just watch a video today on how to play him in D&D.

[RED]
You could do the Patrick Warburton.

[NOIR]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one that he played in the cartoon.

[AUSTIN]
Patrick Warburton. That's the Kronk.

[RED]
Yeah, exactly.

[AUSTIN]
You want— Oh, right! He played him in the cart— oh my god, yeah.

[RED]
Yeah, yeah. Remember?

[AUSTIN]
Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. Oh, that's some childhood— Alright, everyone roll initiative, please.

[RED]
Okay.

 
[NOIR]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Alright, alright, alright, alright. Hold on, lemme remove all your turns...

[NOIR]
Oh, damn it!

[RED]
Yeah, that was not a great roll.

[NOIR]
I've been rolling so well, and then the time that we actually have to— Oh, well, at least you rolled a 15.

[RED]
Well, yeah, but I rolled a seven.

[SOPHIA]
Kyana, what is your DEX?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, she's just really good at—

[WALLY]
(dice clatters)

[RED]
What's the which?

[AUSTIN]
Much higher than yours.

[SOPHIA]
What is your dexterity? I assume it's higher than mine.

[RED]
My dexterity? My dexterity is 17, but I have a thing that gives me a bonus on initiative. I think it's a feat I took?

 
[SOPHIA]
Oh, no. We rolled the same initiative, So whoever has the higher DEX goes first. It's definitely you.

[RED]
Oh.

[AUSTIN]
Correct. It's definitely the monk, yes.

[SOPHIA]
But I was curious, so I asked.

[RED]
Yeah. This is the second fight where we've gone on the exact same round.

[SOPHIA]
It's just, y'know, the girls, the girl gang of the Per Aspera truly has an unbreakable bond, even though we've only known each other for three days. And also, I think I've done more damage to you than most enemies.

[RED]
Yes, you have. (laughs)

[AUSTIN]
Oh, my god, it's so good. Alright.

[WALLY]
Time for me to take a fuckton of damage again.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, Finbar, no! Everyone, our new job for this fight is to protect Finbar at all costs.

[RED]
Yeah, yeah. We need to keep the healer up, we cannot have the healer and the tank be the same person.

[WALLY]
No, no, that's what makes this fun.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, I should— Plug is on the deck.

[RED]
Oh, no, who still has health potions on them?

[SOPHIA]
I think I do. I should also draw Plug in.

[RED]
Actually, I think I do too.

[SOPHIA]
I have so many little guys to go.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, I meant to make a token for Plug. I'll do that for next week.

[SOPHIA]
Sweet. I drew a little green circle for him. Dear audience, I constantly forget that Plug is not just a fun little bit that we get to do, but actually is a fully functional homunculus and could, in theory, be useful in combat.

[AUSTIN]
Could do a lot of damage, actually. Like, it's pretty good. It's no Battle Smith. but it's no slouch.

[SOPHIA]
Dani is standing on the ladder, half out of the trapdoor, half in, just ready to run and fix things if need be, ready to run out and fire at things if need be. Cannon right in front; Plug off, giving VR-LA an allergic reaction. All good stuff is happening.

(laughter)

[AUSTIN]
Fin, you're up first. VR-LA is currently concentrating and probably is going to be needing to use his action to keep you guys from crashing into stuff, during this combat.

[RED]
Yeah, let's just make sure he can do that.

[NOIR]
I don't have my guy anymore, I don't think, so I can't do that.

[RED]
You don't have your guy?

[NOIR]
It's once per long rest, I can summon him.

[RED]
No!

[AUSTIN]
Go ahead, make me a wisdom check, DC 10, to see if you were on point enough to remember to do that.

[NOIR]
(snickers) Wisdom. Oh, okay, yeah. Oh! Eight.

[RED]
Well, from a certain point of view, I would argue that it would actually take him wisdom to *remember* to dismiss it. So perhaps by failing...

[AUSTIN]
High rolls good, low rolls bad in D&D?

[RED]
Ehh... (laughs) High rolls good; low rolls *better*!

[AUSTIN]
Finbar, you're up!

[NOIR]
This is narratively interesting. By the way, it's kinda hard to see the doors because of the icon I used, but the doors are on either side of the thing here. There are these little arches that are stuck, so.

 
[NOIR]
Oh, I thought it was like one of those Star Wars force field bubbles that you can just enter and exit it.

[AUSTIN]
Nope! It's a glass dome.

[WALLY]
Okay.

[RED]
Ooh.

[AUSTIN]
Nah, it's a glass dome. It's got nice patterns on it too, like, there's inlaid gold. It's very pretty.

[NOIR]
Cool.

[RED]
Shiny. Let's not let it get ruined.

[WALLY]
Oh, it's my turn. Okay, damn. Wow.

[AUSTIN]
Mm-hmm. Yeah, surprisingly you went first. Oh I gotta move Kyana in front of Dani.

[WALLY]
Cool.

[SOPHIA]
(laughs)

[RED]
(laughs)

[WALLY]
The skeletons are there?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, they're falling towards you guys. They jumped off.

[WALLY]
Okay. Umm...

[AUSTIN]
Think of the ship as rotating in space. And these are two edges inside the cube. It would be impossible on a 2D map to show the full circle that's around you guys. So think of that as the cross-section, and they're falling towards you.

[SOPHIA]
Convenient that you had this map of the two cubes crushing together slowly ready to go.

[WALLY]
Yeah.

[RED]
Just something you threw together.

[AUSTIN]
You know, sometimes you can't predict your party, like if they're gonna flamethrower their teammates; and sometimes you know that when you put a big trench run in front of them, they're gonna run the trench.
[RED]
Huh...

[NOIR]
That's fair.

[WALLY]
Okay, cool.

[NOIR]
Also, he said— he dog-eared Acheron. He said that, so.

 
[AUSTIN]
Yeah. I was gonna choose a place from the lower planes because it's way harder. And I was like, "You know what? It should be random. I should roll." And then I rolled and it was Acheron, and I was like, "The dice could not be more on my side".

[RED]
On the plus side, we now know how to title these episodes: 'Frying Pan' and then 'Into the Fire'.

[SOPHIA]
(laughs) That's so good.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, hell, that's good.

[WALLY]
Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna move out here.

[NOIR]
A week earlier, they're gonna be like, "What does that mean?"

[RED]
(laughs)

[WALLY]
They're this high up?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. They're gonna land on the deck right here, and how far away they are is how high up they are.
[WALLY]
Cool. I'm gonna bring one down a lot quicker than he expected, and I'm gonna Thorn Whip.

[AUSTIN]
Cool. So yeah, he's gonna take some falling damage.

[WALLY]
Okay. (dice rolls) That's a 24 to hit?

 
[AUSTIN]
Yeah, that'll hit him. Cool. You're going for red?

[WALLY]
Yes. That is seven piercing, and the swarm's gonna do a little bit of damage.

[AUSTIN]
Which, by the way, because of the number of successes you've accumulated, there's also hobgoblins all along here, and you see a few of them go to make the jump; but VR-LA turns the ship, and they all miss landing on the deck, and instead plummet.

[RED]
Woo!

[NOIR]
Hell, yeah.

[RED]
Yeah!

[SOPHIA]
Don't scratch my ship! Get your claws off that siding, it took weeks to polish— Aargh!

[RED]
Focus, focus.

[AUSTIN]
We're gonna narratively change mechanics here. One of them lands on, is scraping on, and then Dani just goes over and kicks his head, and...

[RED]
Slaps him off.

[SOPHIA]
Hey! That's nearly fresh paint!

[AUSTIN]
That can be your held action, the cannon shoots that guy as he's trying to crawl up.

[RED]
(bonks on head) (laughs)

[AUSTIN]
(laughs) Alright Fin, you hit. So go ahead, roll damage.

[WALLY]
Yeah. A total of not great. Eight damage across the board.

[AUSTIN]
Okay. And then how close does it pull them?

[WALLY]
It pulls them ten feet closer.

[AUSTIN]
Okay, cool. So they'll take an additional 1d6 for ten feet of falling, as you accelerate them. Cool. Boom!

[WALLY]
No bonus action, and I believe that's my turn.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. That one plummets into the deck.

[RED]
Crunch.

[AUSTIN]
And yeah, I should describe them. They're not really skeletons so much as— they're definitely undead. But you see part of them is skeletal, but a lot of their flesh is still there and it's sort of withered. Not rotting like a zombie, so to speak, but still tensed, like grain pulled tight. Each of them has a spear. They have gold helms over their head, and there's glowing red eyes, and they're wearing tarnished— must have been brass at some point, but just tarnished armor and carrying these tall tower shields.

Super dope. Okay, that's a great turn. Kyana! One of these skeletons slams into the deck. The other ones are falling down currently. What will you do?

[RED]
Well I had my astral arms out earlier, but those last ten minutes. Are they gone?

[AUSTIN]
No, this has all been less than ten minutes. In ten minutes they would have caught you, so.

[RED]
Okay. Alright. In that case, I will make sure to mark off the ki cost of that real quick, because it's actually important to combat now. Alright, so that means I can't get the—

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. And you do have your face up. Oh my god, I never described the face.

[RED]
Oh!

[AUSTIN]
Everyone, by the way, has seen Kyana. There's a glowing visage over her own face that's exactly like the arms, except it kind of has— it's not smooth. It kind of has little spines on the bottom, it's kind of serrated along the jaw. It's kind of featureless, but there seems to be one eye in the middle of her forehead, or at least what would be an eye, and a smooth, glowing face shield sort of deal.

[RED]
Yeah.

[WALLY]
Okay.
[RED]
I can't see what it looks like yet—

[AUSTIN]
No, you cannot.

[RED]
—but it gives me some pretty cool bonuses.

[AUSTIN]
It does.

[RED]
Well, first of all, let me just move so I'm a little bit more centrally located for when these jawns land.

[SOPHIA]
"Jawns".

[RED]
Sorry, you've infected me.

[AUSTIN]
I was gonna say, we don't use that word on this podcast.

[RED]
Oh, sorry. Sorry.

[SOPHIA]
Yes we do!

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. If you ran right there, you'd incur an attack of opportunity. But you're plenty fast enough to just go around, which is, I assume, what you'd want to do. Yeah, that's fine.

[RED]
Yeah, definitely. Okay. Well, it would be pretty fun to try— but the thing is, it's not like they're gonna change trajectory in mid-air to run away, so...

[AUSTIN]
No, they are not. Also, they're undead, so.

[RED]
They can't be intimidated?

[AUSTIN]
How much you might be able to— possible. It just might not be easy to scare them.

[RED]
Okay, well, in that case I will...

[AUSTIN]
But you are in the middle of a skill challenge too, so, y'know.

[RED]
That is true.

[WALLY]
Right.

[SOPHIA]
We got this, guys.

[RED]
Alright, well, you know what? I'll start by punching the one that's down, just make things a little bit easier on myself. There it is, okay. Arms of the Astral Self: melee attack plus seven. (heh!) (dice clatters) Oh, disgusting. Well, I rolled an 11 total.

[AUSTIN]
11 will not hit.

[RED]
That's about what I expected.

[AUSTIN]
These guys have pretty good armor.

[RED]
Well, I rolled a four, so I wasn't expecting it to hit. Okay. Second attack for free. (dice clatters) Oh, that's much better! That's a 19 unadjusted, so 26 to hit.

[AUSTIN]
Hell, yes.

[RED]
Okay. (dice clatters) Oh, cool! Max damage. That's ten force damage.

[AUSTIN]
Ten. Not bad. This guy does not look good. He's already kind of battered, and your fist seems to go right through his armor and collide with body on that second punch.

[RED]
Awesome. Now because these three guys are gonna drop next turn, I am going to use my bonus action to patient defense, so I can dodge, so that next turn, they have trouble hitting me.

[AUSTIN]
Fantastic. That's brilliant, honestly.

[RED]
Thank you.

[AUSTIN]
Dani!

[SOPHIA]
Yes. Alright, let's do this. So Dani is going to throw a leg up out of the trap door as she's jumping out. Fasten her coat, throw the goggles down, we're in combat mode. I'm gonna sprint across the deck between Kyana and the skeleton dude who has landed. Kind of do a little slide. He'll get an opportunity attack on me because I'm gonna pass through his range, but that's okay.

[AUSTIN]
Let me go ahead and roll for that. Oh, that's Enoch.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah. Fire away. Don't want Enoch to hit me, please.

[AUSTIN]
He's actually worse at hitting than these things are.18 to hit?

[SOPHIA]
That will hit, but I will use my reaction to cast Shield.

[RED]
Good.

[SOPHIA]
So my AC becomes 20, so it does not.

[AUSTIN]
Okay, so it does not hit. So, Dani baseball slides past the guy, throws an arm up, the spectral gear of Shield comes down, blocks that, and then pops up at the edge of the ship, and I'm gonna cross my hands in front of me, very anime volume one cover–style, and reach to the blaze to cast Burning Hands. So a 15-foot cone of fire goes out to try and hit those two skeleton guys who are plummeting towards us.

[AUSTIN]
Hell, yes. that's DEX save from both of them?

[SOPHIA]
Yes, DEX 12.

[AUSTIN]
(dice thonks)

[RED]
But they are falling, so maybe they're not so good at the...?

[AUSTIN]
Uhh... No, they have shields to hide behind.

[RED]
Ohh.

[SOPHIA]
I rolled real good on the damage.

[AUSTIN]
And they both do succeed.

[SOPHIA]
Okay.
[AUSTIN]
They rolled really good on their saves.

 
[SOPHIA]
They still take half damage. That's 15 points, so halved to whatever that is halved of fire damage.

[AUSTIN]
15 down to seven.

[SOPHIA]
Yes, they both take seven points of fire damage. And then for my bonus action, because my cannon is up, I'm gonna have that bad boy on its little chicken feet, go skrt skrt skrt skrt skrt, over 15 feet. Only ten feet, actually. And then try and get line of sight on this green guy. Yeah. I'm gonna hit greenie. I'm gonna take an attack at him with the Force Ballista. (dice thonks) Okay, so that's going to be a 17 to hit.

[AUSTIN]
That will just hit.

[SOPHIA]
Alright. So he's going to take 2d8 plus three points of force damage. This is going to be not amazing. Nine points of force damage, and he gets knocked back ten feet, I think.

[AUSTIN]
Cool. He's falling towards the ship, so...

[RED]
Boing!

[SOPHIA]
I'm just trying to push him far enough away that he doesn't—

[AUSTIN]
He's still gonna hit the ship. but— no, you know what? When it's his turn, he'll have to do something. But we'll get there.

[SOPHIA]
At the end of my turn, Plug gets to go. I forgot about him for so long.

 
[AUSTIN]
Yes!

[SOPHIA]
Plug will— let me pull up the stats for the homunculus.

[RED]
Please tell me he can cast Fireball.

[SOPHIA]
Well, he has a ranged weapon attack. I think he can. It could also use him to cast spells, but I'm officially out of spell slots, so he's not gonna do that.

[RED]
Oh, bud.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. He's also in a glass dome right now.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah. He's gonna skrt, skrt, skrt on to the edge of that dome that he's in and poke through the bottom. Is there a little cat door in the door?

[AUSTIN]
No, he can come out over here.

[SOPHIA]
Okay. Yeah. Plug will come out over there, stand at the top of the steps. And if I stand here, does he have line of sight on the guy beyond Finbar, or would he have cover?

[AUSTIN]
Yep.

[SOPHIA]
Awesome.

[AUSTIN]
No, Plug is up. Finbar is tall, but he's not that tall.

 
[SOPHIA]
Awesome. Do I want Plug to attack him, or do I want Plug to attack one of the falling guys?

[RED]
I really want to know what his ranged attack is, what the flavor is.

[AUSTIN]
The ones marked green and red are both doing bad.

[SOPHIA]
I'll fire at the...

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, I can't wait to learn what a cat's ranged attack is too. Just one hairball.

[WALLY]
Laser eyes.

(laughter)

[RED]
Oh, I hope it's laser eyes!

[SOPHIA]
Plug actually has to step five feet down the steps in order to be in range of this ranged weapon attack.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. So if he's got a short range, he's gotta do red.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah. He's gonna fire at red. He's got a 30-foot range. So plug skrt, skrt, skrts down the steps and you just watch, much like a cat about to fire out a hairball, completely tenses up, and his body accordions in. But then his tail curls up behind him and it's a little socket, and a little bit of electricity crackles in the back. And then all of a sudden Plug just fully expands and the tail fires off two little darts where the plugs were coming from, from the socket, and fire off at the red guy as one projectile.

[RED]
Aww!

[AUSTIN]
Okay. Go ahead and—

[SOPHIA]
And he makes the Windows 94 startup sound while this happens.

(laughter)

[AUSTIN]
(dial up modem handshake sound)

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's not a stealth attack.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, Plug got a dirty 20 to hit!

[RED]
What!

[NOIR]
Yeah!

[AUSTIN]
Plug is gonna hit. Oh my god, tell me what this does.

[RED]
(chanting) MVP! MVP!

[SOPHIA]
Plug did max damage! That's six points of force damage for Plug.

[RED]
That's my boy!

[AUSTIN]
That's max damage? That is exactly what you need to kill this guy.

 
[NOIR]
Yeah!

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, Plug!

[RED]
Oh, how embarrassing!

[SOPHIA]
I can't believe I forgot I had a whole other way to attack.

[AUSTIN]
Dani, how many hit points does does Plug have?

[SOPHIA]
Does Plug have? Oh, no! Plug has ten hit points.

[RED]
How dare—

[WALLY]
Don't ask that.

[NOIR]
Uh, oh.

[AUSTIN]
So Plug gains five temporary hit points—

(laughter)

[AUSTIN]
—as the plane of Acheron infuses him with bloodlust to continue the fight. He gains hit points equal to half of his maximum. You see wire hairs stand on edge, and he tenses like a predator ready to kill.

[RED]
Oh, god.

[SOPHIA]
I love this cat!

[AUSTIN]
I can't believe he got the kill!

[SOPHIA]
It's what he deserves, frankly.

[NOIR]
His little glowing red eyes glow even redder.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, his eyes just burn red.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[RED]
Oh, no.

[SOPHIA]
Lets out his battle cry one more time: (dial up modem handshake sound)

(laughter)

[RED]
Makes dial up noises.

[SOPHIA]
Yep.

[AUSTIN]
It is Enoch's turn. He's near the bow. He's gonna run over and jump over the railing of the deck and land, join Kyana, and he's gonna use his action to dodge, take a cue from you, face back-to-back for these guys who are about to fall.

[RED]
Aw, this rules!

 
[AUSTIN]
So here's what's up: green was hit with the Ballista, so; blue falls normally, yellow falls normally, green is gonna make a DEX save to see if they can catch on to the boat and climb up. Your DC is 12, Dani?

[SOPHIA]
Force Ballista is just an attack roll, spell attack.

[AUSTIN]
What's your spell save DC?

[SOPHIA]
Spell save DC. Yes.

[AUSTIN]
What's your spell save DC?

[SOPHIA]
Spell save DC is 15.

[AUSTIN]
15. There you go. It's gonna make a DC 15 dexterity saving throw.

[SOPHIA]
Please fail.

[AUSTIN]
Natural 18.

[SOPHIA]
No!

[RED]
Aw, boo.

[SOPHIA]
It's okay.

[AUSTIN]
So he lands on the edge and then scrambles up.

 
[RED]
That's okay, we've still got Plug!

[SOPHIA]
We still got the MVP!

[AUSTIN]
Cool. So they make two spear attacks. There's going to be two at disadvantage on Kyana first.
[RED]
Come at me, bro.

[AUSTIN]
That's a 14 to hit. And even worse; crit that was negated.

[RED]
No.

[AUSTIN]
Two on Enoch; natural one, and then also bad, Enoch is fine. Now we've got two coming on Dani.

[SOPHIA]
I still have my Shield up until the start of my next turn. So my AC is—

[AUSTIN]
It—

[SOPHIA]
Oh, no, does it go down if I cast it on my turn?

[AUSTIN]
Wait, no, no. No, it lasts until the start of your next turn. So you have no reaction, Shield is still up.

[SOPHIA]
Yes, so my AC is 20 for the duration.

[AUSTIN]
And I rolled terrible.

 
[SOPHIA]
Great!

[RED]
Ha ha!

[AUSTIN]
16 to hit—

[SOPHIA]
That would have, but no.

[AUSTIN]
Not high enough. Cool, yeah. These guys are all land, and are not prepared for the combination of an arcane ward and two monks who have specifically prepared to deal with them.

VR-LA, it is your turn. Unfortunately, unless you want to start to slow down, you're going to keep using your action to not crash.

[NOIR]
Yeah, I will focus. Thankfully, since Plug left my sphere of allergy, I can now dedicate a little more focus to piloting the ship.

[SOPHIA]
In this situation, is VR-LA Luke asking how R2 is doing back there, or is he R2 screaming in the back of the...?

[RED]
(laughs)

[AUSTIN]
Little column A, little column B?

[WALLY]
Yeah.

[SOPHIA]
How're you doing back there, VR-LA? (R2-D2–esque scream)

[AUSTIN]
How you doing back there, buddy?

(R2-D2–esque screams and laughter)

[NOIR]
That's how VR-LA sneezes.

(laughter)

[NOIR]
But yeah, VR-LA will use his action to dash and just keep this hype train moving.

[SOPHIA]
Hell yeah!

[RED]
(R2-D2–esque scream)

[AUSTIN]
Hype train is totally going. Fin! You are up.

[WALLY]
Okay. I'm gonna drop the bow, pull out my moon sickle, Lalin, and I'm gonna stride up to these these guys on the deck.

[NOIR]
I misheard, I thought it was a popsicle in the shape of a moon.

[RED]
That's what I heard too! Moonsicle! (mild laughter)

[WALLY]
...Yes.

(laughter)

[NOIR]
Apologies, continue.

[WALLY]
I have to redraw something now. Anyways.

(laughter)

[WALLY]
Yeah, so one attack at advantage with the sickle. (dice clatters) That's a nat 20—

[RED]
Yes!

[NOIR]
Oh, nice!

[WALLY]
—and a nat one. I'll take the nat 20.

[SOPHIA]
Nice.

[NOIR]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, you will, will you?

[WALLY]
I would like to, if that's alright.

[RED]
The duality of D&D.

[NOIR]
The dramatic highs and lows of rolling.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. Alright, remember, it's the roll of the dice plus the maximum.

[WALLY]
Yep. That's minimum, plus maximum is ten.

[AUSTIN]
Okay. Is there anything else you get to do from the fairies?

[WALLY]
Yes. Make a strength save.

[AUSTIN]
Eugh... Yeah. 12.

[WALLY]
12? Okay. So the second I strike this dude, right in the neck with the sickle, the fairies run along my arm and punch him 15 feet off the deck of the ship.
[SOPHIA]
Woo!

[RED]
Yes!

[NOIR]
Woo!

[RED]
Woo!

[AUSTIN]
You see the fairies coming, grab him by this fancy armor, and chuck him off.

[RED]
Yeet. Yeah, he's just gonna fall and splat, he only had nine hit points left.

[NOIR]
Amazing.

[AUSTIN]
Finbar, you gain— I keep deleting the one who has the initiative. It's fine, they're probably gonna be dead before they go again. Finbar, what's your hit point maximum?

[WALLY]
63.

 
[AUSTIN]
You gain 31 temporary hit points—

[RED]
What!

[AUSTIN]
—as you smoke this fucker.

[WALLY]
I cannot die now. Bring on the dragon.

[AUSTIN]
You hear a horrid wail, distant and far away, come from within the chest of this thing, as it just (whooh) off the edge of the boat. And then you immediately— how does Finbar feel getting hyped up? This is the bloodlust of Acheron fueling him on. How does that make him feel?

[WALLY]
I kinda feel like I'm back home, hunting down my next dinner.

[SOPHIA]
Ooh.

[WALLY]
So you're activating the hunter side of Finbar, not the druid or chef part right now. And I still have some movement.

[RED]
That sounds like a very wholesome way of looking at it.

[WALLY]
So I will get right in between these two.

[AUSTIN]
Sweet. Yeah. Deep down you reach into that part of you that's hunter, not chef. And yeah, you're ready. Alright, Kyana.

[RED]
Okay.

 
[AUSTIN]
You just saw Finbar come up and slice, and then this skeleton you were facing down that you had parried just goes flying away. What would you like to do?

[RED]
Alright. Two skeletons left. Enoch's got one, I'll take the other. So I will also scooch up a little bit just to pop that guy. And yeah, let's just punch him, hopefully. Oh, okay. Dirty 19, so.

[AUSTIN]
That'll hit.

[RED]
Yep. Alright, so that's d6 plus four force damage. Nine points of force damage.

[AUSTIN]
Whew, these guys... Last leg.

[RED]
Well, second attack. (heh!) (dice clatters) 24.

[AUSTIN]
Mm-hmm. Yeah. You smoke him.

[RED]
And d6 plus four force damage... Alright. Good. Because it was minimum damage. Five hit points.

[AUSTIN]
He had one hit point left. Boom boom! Yeah, the two fists: one goes through; you hear a crunch of desiccated body, and then another fist takes the head fully off. What's your hit point maximum?

[RED]
34.

[AUSTIN]
You gain 17 temporary hit points.

 
[RED]
Interesting.

[AUSTIN]
And how does Kyana feel, being infected with the bloodlust of this plane?

[RED]
I think it hits in that same weird, familiar-but-alien nostalgia that I was just dealing with earlier. There's something there that really likes being here.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. Now that you know what you're looking for, it's a little bit easier to sense, you don't have to be meditating. You feel there's a warrior's spirit in there.

[RED]
Huh. Neat.

[AUSTIN]
Excited.

[RED]
Okay, well, I'm gonna temper that and take the dodge action again for my bonus. Just in case someone wants to hit something.

[AUSTIN]
Cool. Heh...

[AUSTIN]
Dani, you're up.

[SOPHIA]
Don't worry: Plug will handle this. Dani's going to, green trench dramatically billowing in the wind, goggles on, run up to the upper level of the ship and take aim at the last guy down there through my Baronium Fluctuator and cast a spicy, spicy Fire Bolt at him.

[AUSTIN]
Go for it.

[RED]
Enoch is right behind him. Is that gonna be a problem?

[SOPHIA]
This just does fire damage to the target.

[AUSTIN]
No, it's not Fireball. It's not area of effect, and it also does not have any force effects.

[RED]
Phew, okay.

[SOPHIA]
Okay, that's not bad. 22 to hit?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah.

[SOPHIA]
That's gonna be 2d10 fire damage.

[AUSTIN]
Maybe I made you guys too good.

[RED]
Nah.

[SOPHIA]
Nah.

[RED]
Oh, yeah. Easy peasy. We're just in Acheron, with githyanki and a red dragon on our tail.

[WALLY]
Bring the red dragon. No, no, bring them. I'm ready.

[SOPHIA]
That's gonna be nine points of fire damage from Dani's little bolt.

 
[AUSTIN]
Okay.

[SOPHIA]
And then as Dani runs up, the chicken-legged eldritch cannon goes (skrts) and across the deck to get in line (five, ten, 15) with our baddie and I'm going to fire off with the Force Ballista for my bonus action. Okay, 19 to hit?

[AUSTIN]
That'll hit.

[SOPHIA]
Nice. That's going to be 2d8 plus three. (dice rolls) Oh, I forgot to add for the Baronium Fluctuator thing too, because that was fired through my—

[AUSTIN]
Go for it.

[SOPHIA]
—Arcane Firearm. So the Arcane Firearm damage adds a d8, so I'm going to roll that first. So that was an additional one point of fire damage.

[RED]
Aw yeah, wear 'em down, baby.

[SOPHIA]
(laughs) It's a battle of a thousand cuts. And then the Force Ballista did... 12 points of force damage, and that bad guy gets pushed five feet away from the cannon, which I think takes him out of range.

[AUSTIN]
Cool. Slams into the railing of these stairs. Enoch does have a turn before them, so if your turn ends, this guy goes flying away.

[SOPHIA]
Well, hold up, because we do have one last guy who's got to go.

[RED]
(chanting) MVP! MVP!

[SOPHIA]
Let me see how far Plug can move.

[WALLY]
Dani has a million bag of tricks.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah. Dani is nothing if not constantly surrounded by small little devices.

[AUSTIN]
You don't have to use your bonus action to command the homunculus?

[SOPHIA]
No, he moves on my initiative.

[AUSTIN]
That can't be right! "In combat, the homunculus shares your initiative count, but takes its turn immediately after yours. It can only move and use its reaction on its own". Oh, I do have to use my bonus action to command the homunculus. I'm sorry, that was incorrect. Plug will just take the...

[AUSTIN]
There you go. No worries! Yeah. Plug can move forward, if you'd like.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, he can move on his own, and he can take the dodge action automatically, but he can't do anything.

[RED]
But he *is* currently sated with bloodlust. So perhaps Plug *wants* to kill.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, my god. He moves 30 feet forward. Five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 30.

[RED]
Must Plug be commanded to fulfill the instincts of nature?

 
[SOPHIA]
Plug will take the dodge action and sort of just, accordion back arched, tail up, approach the combat zone.

[RED]
(snickers)

[AUSTIN]
Fantastic. Alright. (shakes dice) Enoch will make two attacks. He only has a plus four to hit, so we'll see if he even hits at all. Nope!

[RED]
No, Enoch!

[SOPHIA]
Enoch!

[AUSTIN]
He does a bunch of damage too, because he's got a special thing; but he has a really bad to hit.

[RED]
But he's so wise!

[AUSTIN]
He comes through and goes for two punches, but he does not have the benefit of huge astral force arms, and this tower shield just imposes itself. Bam, bam. Finally, this guy's gonna get to attack. He'll just do one attack on Enoch, one attack on Finbar. (dice shakes, thonks) Enoch's is gonna miss; Finbar, it's a 17 to hit?

[WALLY]
No.

[RED]
Ha ha ha!

[AUSTIN]
Boom! Yeah, this guy is... he was just fighting hobgoblins, he was not prepared to take on—

 
[WALLY]
Do we look like hobgoblins?

[RED]
Yeah. (laughs)

[AUSTIN]
—to take on a full adventuring party. VR-LA, you continue to steer, I assume?

[NOIR]
Mm-hmm. Yep.

[AUSTIN]
And Finbar, we're back up to you at the top of the initiative.

[SOPHIA]
Fuck him up.

[AUSTIN]
Even though Enoch didn't hurt him, he's fully pinned him now with this flurry of blows against the railing of the deck. Alright, you circle up on the stairs to get flanking.

[RED]
Hit him with the creamsicle!

[AUSTIN]
Now standing, one foot on the railing, fully above this guy. Like, this head is underneath your boot, basically.

[WALLY]
So I line up my sickle. Okay. I got one shot at this. And I'm gonna hit him.

[SOPHIA]
Do it.

[AUSTIN]
If you hit him, he dies.

 
[SOPHIA]
Do it!

[WALLY]
It's a natural 18... and an eight.

[AUSTIN]
That'll hit! I'll

[WALLY]
I’ll take the 18. A total of 26. That's a d4 to hit. Mkay, that's a total of seven points of slashing damage.

[AUSTIN]
That does it! (whoomph!) The thing comes down. Unfortunately, you can't gain more temporary hit points, but the bloodlust billows up in you, and you see Lalin the blade sink all the way through this thing's head, cleaving through the armor. It goes limp. The shield falls to the side and it slumps off of your blade.

[RED]
Good work, team!

[SOPHIA]
Alright!

[WALLY]
Okay, have the corpse make a strength saving throw.

[AUSTIN]
(snickers) It goes flying.

(laughter)

[RED]
Merrily makes a nice parabola off the edge.

[AUSTIN]
You see the fairies just take the trash out.

 
[SOPHIA]
Are the fairies getting filled with bloodlust, too? Like, what does that look like?

[AUSTIN]
Oh, yeah. They're riled up, man. You can hear them chanting, "Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!"

[RED]
Making little football hooligan noises.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, exactly.

[SOPHIA]
I love the little Pikmin-esque fairy group. (laughs)
[AUSTIN]
They really are the Pikmin.

[RED]
(Pikmin-esque scream)

[SOPHIA]
(Pikmin-esque "Wahoo!")

[NOIR]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, my god.

[RED]
Hoo, boy!

[AUSTIN]
Hells yeah. Okay, that ends this combat. The final skeletons fall away, and you are able to turn your attention back to the matter at hand: the githyanki still attempting to close in behind you. I think that's a good place to go to break.

[SOPHIA]
(peppy) Rolling with Difficulty! (episode break)

[WALLY]
Hi, I'm Wally, a.k.a. Finbar, and you're listening to Rolling with Difficulty. Now, let's get back to the show.

[SOPHIA]
(ominous) Rolling with Difficulty. (episode resumes)

[AUSTIN]
And we're back. VR-LA is still at the helm. The rest of you, your actions are your own. What would you like to do?

[SOPHIA]
So the cube is closing in on us actively right now?

[AUSTIN]
Yep!

[WALLY]
Are we gonna make it?

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, I guess that's a good question.

[RED]
I hope so.

[AUSTIN]
So far, so good.

[RED]
Great.

[AUSTIN]
You haven't been crushed yet!

[SOPHIA]
Awesome, awesome.

[AUSTIN]
No, it's not closing in. No, you're in a tunnel. You're in a tunnel inside of it, you're not in the trench run. I mean, you're in a trench run, but it's not (crushing noise) Although that could have cut off the gith if you made it. That would have been a harder check, though. But, yeah, it's a maneuvering check right now to get through. And so far you're doing it a lot better than they are, because you have a success and that's how it works.

[SOPHIA]
I'm trying to think if there's any way we could throw stuff behind us to make following us more difficult for them, y'know? Like, I'm trying to look through...

[RED]
I mean, we should be able to...

[NOIR]
We do have seven crates of soul coins.

[AUSTIN]
You have a motorcycle. You have seven crates of soul coins.

[SOPHIA]
We do have...

[WALLY]
No. No...

[RED]
We're not doing that.

[WALLY]
We're not just gonna throw hundreds of souls overboard.

[NOIR]
Noir thinks that we could rectify the problem of tormented souls by giving them purpose, in whatever way that manifests.

[SOPHIA]
Dani's alignment is chaotic neutral. As far as I'm concerned, we could throw them overboard and it would be a great benefit to us.

 
[RED]
It wouldn't do *any* good. If the gith couldn't catch them, then there's no reason for them to go after them.

[WALLY]
That's a hard no from Finbar.

[NOIR]
Quick! Someone try and break open a soul coin to see if it screams.

[WALLY]
No, don't— Mm-mm.

[RED]
No, no, no, you're busy steering!

[NOIR]
I am, I am. (laughs)

[WALLY]
No touchy.

[AUSTIN]
But they're big, by the way. The soul coins are like— I was gonna describe them as the size of a cookie, that doesn't mean anything.

[NOIR]
Girl Scout cookies!

[RED]
A decent-sized cookie.

[AUSTIN]
They're larger than a cookie, but smaller than a very large cookie.

[RED]
Ahh.

[AUSTIN]
They're, like, hockey puck–sized. They're big. They're not like a quarter. They're hockey puck size. So the crates that are full of them, they're stacked, it's not just loose coins in there. It's like opening a pirate's treasure chest, y'know?

[NOIR]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[WALLY]
Okay.

[NOIR]
Well, VR-LA's steering the ship to wherever you guys need to. I'm trying to get away from the gith in whatever way that manifests.

[AUSTIN]
You know what, to get us back into— You've been dashing for so long with this.

[NOIR]
This is true.

[AUSTIN]
Why don't we have the first skill as we come back. Let's do a constitution check to see if you can keep this up.

[AUSTIN]
Not too hard. Let's call it a DC 13.

[SOPHIA]
Come on. VR-LA!

[NOIR]
Okie-dokie.

[AUSTIN]
Not too difficult, but still a little straining to keep this going.

[NOIR]
On a fail, what happens? I gain a point of exhaustion, but nothing necessarily—

[AUSTIN]
Nope!

[NOIR]
I could still dash if I wish, right?

[AUSTIN]
You're dashing, but mechanically what happens is you accumulate a fail. And so narratively, that means they're catching up to you as you dash slower. You can still keep using your action to dash, but you're tired now. Yeah, it's not a perfect amalgamation of rules and lore, but yeah.

[NOIR]
Right, right, right. Okay, I'm rolling. Oh, damn it. It was on a 17, and then it rolled back to a seven plus two. That's only gonna be a nine.

[RED]
No!

[SOPHIA]
Aww!

[AUSTIN]
Aww. Oh, boo-hoo. You guys have succeeded five times, and you got one failure. This does bring you in range of the harpoons though.

[SOPHIA]
Kyana!

[RED]
Okay!

[AUSTIN]
You see, VR-LA, the mental strain of you essentially concentrating on a spell and dashing while you do it is starting to get on you. The ship does not crash. It's a combination of the focus of keeping the masts from being snapped off on anything, you're just not as able to keep it going as fast. They are going to make two harpoon attacks to see if they can anchor you guys in. So these have... Yeah, you wanna go for it?

[RED]
Come at me. Come at me! I wanna—

 
[AUSTIN]
Alright, so here's what's going to happen. They're gonna roll. They got two, they're gonna try to hit, it's an AC 15 on the wood, just like last time. They got a plus five, so 50% chance they're going to hit. We'll call a success if you're able to prevent one from getting in. So in other words, if I hit on either of them then you're going to use your reaction to try and reduce the damage to zero. If you reduce it to zero, it doesn't stick into the deck, and that's a success. Alright, here we go. Two rolls to begin with. And a one and a four isn't even hard enough. So you guys are way out of range.

[RED]
Aww.

[AUSTIN]
(whooh) Sorry, it would have been very cool, but...

[RED]
Next time, baby.

[SOPHIA]
I love the mental image of Kyana at the ready, watching as each harpoon goes.

[AUSTIN]
I've never been so sad, because you definitely would have reduced the damage from that. It sucks.

[RED]
Boo! Yeah. Well, next time.

[AUSTIN]
But yeah, the two harpoons go. It's gonna take them a little while to reset those, if they can at all. But they are getting closer.

[RED]
Is there some way we can convince all the skeletons and hobgoblins that there's free candy in that dragonfly?

 
[SOPHIA]
Even without convincing, just doing a— I don't know what check this would be. Looking at the cubes on either side of us and looking if there's something that a well-placed Fire Bolt or perhaps Force Ballista shot could knock, and sort of just knock something, either a wave of skeletons or a piece of shrapnel or debris—

[AUSTIN]
Ooh, interesting! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[SOPHIA]
—to block the path in between the two of us?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, hmm. It's like a luck check, I don't even know. See, I would say that's investigation. to find the kind of thing you can blow—

[RED]
Insight? Perhaps an insight check?

[AUSTIN]
Insight? Alright. Insight check? Okay, here's my rationalization, ready? You want to try and knock guys off so that as the ship is coming, these guys all hit the ship and hopefully attack the githyanki, right? You are using an insight check to try and figure out their patterns so that you can direct VR-LA to try and bump some of them off with the ship.
[RED]
Okay, which of us is rolling then?

[AUSTIN]
I assume you want to roll your insight check, right?

[SOPHIA]
Yes, yours is probably better than mine.

[RED]
I do. It is my high—

[SOPHIA]
And I've already made an investigation, so I can't.

[RED]
Well, it's plus seven.

[AUSTIN]
Before you roll, let me come up with a DC. This is also pretty hard, but definitely doable. Let's go ahead and set this at 20.

[RED]
Okay. My insight is plus seven. So a 13 or higher.

[SOPHIA]
So you need a 13 or higher. Yeah. Come on, Kyana!

[RED]
I'll try. I don't know. (heh!) (dice clatters) Aagh! Four.

[AUSTIN]
Four. Ugh. There's an army of these skeletons coming, and they're cresting over what looks like a piece of metal that's loose on the outside of this cube— you're inside the cube, but on the surface of this tunnel. And you direct for the mast to come along and knock it off. You successfully do that, but the mast, as VR-LA turns the ship, is just a little too— I should say, your insight isn't quite high enough. You thought that this metal plate was looser than it was, and as the metal plate comes loose, so does a piece of the mast. And it goes flying back, (clanging) out through the thing.

[RED]
Ahh!!

[SOPHIA]
Kyana!!

[AUSTIN]
The ship loses a little bit of speed. That's two failures.

[RED]
No!

[SOPHIA]
No!

[AUSTIN]
You're still keeping ahead of the dragon, but the ship is faster than the dragon is. So the githyanki are starting to draw closer.

So here's what's up: they're not gonna all try and jump because it's a risk. But two of them are gonna make athletics checks to try and get onto your ship.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, man, we were doing so good in the first half.

[AUSTIN]
They're not proficient in this actually, but they just need to hit a ten on each of these. But it's only two. The two who are on the front, they're close enough now, they're gonna forsake the spears and they're gonna try to jump on. And if they succeed, then it's gonna be combat.

[RED]
Dang it, guys!

[AUSTIN]
So here we go. Yes! Both of them succeed!

[RED]
Boo!

[WALLY]
Okay. Oh, okay.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah! Guys, move yourself wherever you wanna be, because you see these two githyanki come and jump right onto the back here.

[SOPHIA]
Well, that's not good.

[AUSTIN]
Let me get their hit points and AC up. These guys are a little tougher than skeletons.

[RED]
Nyeh.

[SOPHIA]
We can take 'em!

[AUSTIN]
Alright, yeah. Go ahead and roll your initiative. Enoch is going to be at the back as well.

[WALLY]
If I remember anything about this stat block...

[RED]
Okay, here we go. (dice clatters) Oh, gross. Okay. Well, at least I got that one out of—

[AUSTIN]
None of them are nice. They're just warriors, so.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, no, VR-LA! Please protect VR-LA at all costs.
[RED]
This die is going in the timeout corner.

[AUSTIN]
Okay, first we'll do Enoch's... Enoch rolls a natural 20 on his initiative!

[RED]
Hey! That's my boy!

[SOPHIA]
Enoch definitely has higher DEX than Dani.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. You see, as the ship starts to get close to the dragon, it has to follow directly behind. The dragon's not that big, but it has to follow directly behind this dragonfly-looking ship, because it's just so narrow in here. And you see two of them step back, just run forward, and spring with inhuman strength, crest over the railing on the bow of the boat and land, one on either side of Kyana. VR-LA, you turn your head over and see just two githyanki land with catlike grace on the back of this deck.

 
[SOPHIA]
There's only need for one cat on this ship.

[WALLY]
(laughs)

[AUSTIN]
Enoch is up. Yeah, these guys speak Gith. Does anyone here speak Gith other than— no, you know what? They would know Common, too, because they're always reading people. And it doesn't really make sense to threaten people in a language they don't speak. I'm gonna veto the monster stat block and say these guys would also know Common.

[WALLY]
It's funny if they do it on purpose.

[SOPHIA]
True.

[AUSTIN]
You see two of them land, they both pull out these gnarly-looking silver greatswords inlaid with rubies; one of them, the one closest to you Kyana, looks at you, says, “(in an Australian accent) Surrender or die. Please choose die."

[NOIR]
Sorry, they're Australian??

[SOPHIA]
They're Australian!!

(laughter)

[RED]
I thought drow were the ones that came from a land down under.

[SOPHIA]
Ba-dum tss.

 
[AUSTIN]
I really wanted to do drow as Australian. I was like, "I don't know if you guys will ever meet a drow." And I like doing the Australian voice. So these guys, at least this crew speaks Australian.

[SOPHIA]
Does that mean that whenever I'm speaking Gith, I have to do an Australian accent?

[WALLY]
Yes.

[SOPHIA]
Fuck!

(laughter)

[NOIR]
That's why your Gith is so bad!

[SOPHIA]
Crikey!

[AUSTIN]
It's why your Gith's so bad.

[SOPHIA]
(in a poor Australian accent) My Gith's from... Gith For Dummies?

[AUSTIN]
It's important to remember the pin-pen merger, if you're gonna do it right.

[NOIR]
I can't do Australian. I can only do maybe a Taika Waititi voice, which is New Zealand.

[WALLY]
I'm not even gonna try.

[AUSTIN]
It's all about the pin-pen merger, baby.

[RED]
I have a question: since he talked to me—

[AUSTIN]
Yes.

[RED]
—can I just smile and see if I can intimidate him with my spooky face?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, go for it.

[RED]
I would love to see how that works, just a second. I don't have any natural intimidation, I believe. Yeah. No, plus one.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, check your stats. Woo!

[RED]
But my... Where is it...?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, your astral face gives you something. Okay.

[RED]
Advantage on intimidation checks. I have advantage on intimidation checks!
[WALLY]
Okay, yeah.
[RED]
So two dice at a plus one, let's see what happens!

[SOPHIA]
Come on, Kyana!

[RED]
(dice thonks) Aah! Well, one of them's a natural one, and one of them fell in my drawer where I have my preamp. One more time.

 
[AUSTIN]
Yeah, you reroll it.

[RED]
Okay, 15!

[AUSTIN]
15? You give this a smile, you see a weird, kind of jagged opening comes in the golden face mask. Says, "Ooh, you're spooky. I'm gonna like fighting you."

[RED]
Thank you!

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, they're, like, pirates, they're not gonna be upset. Initiative begins. Enoch comes around and flanks the one who was talking to you, Kyana. Turns over his shoulder and says, "Hey, brother, what brings you all the way out here?" Enoch turns and says, "This doesn't need to be a fight. Whatever you're looking for, I promise we can work something out."

[NOIR]
Gonna go make a sanga on the barbie.

[AUSTIN]
He goes, "Yeah. How about your spine? Let's see if you got one of those in you." And then Enoch's gonna...

[NOIR]
Good lord.

[AUSTIN]
Enoch's gonna make two attacks.

[WALLY]
I love these guys so much.

[AUSTIN]
Enoch does not hit. Comes in with two punches, but this guy is wearing silvered half plate with that same ruby inlay. And two punches land and he doesn't feel anything. He gives a laugh. He goes, "Yeah, more or less what I expected. Let's dance."

[RED]
Flanking, does he get advantage or something?

[AUSTIN]
Oh you're right! You're right!

[SOPHIA]
Yes, yes!

[RED]
Tee hee hee. (laughs)

[AUSTIN]
That'll hit! The second punch! Thank you!

[RED]
Yeah!!

[AUSTIN]
He says that, and then as he's halfway through, the second punch finds the space between the sword and uppercuts right on the chin.

[RED]
Ha, ha!

[AUSTIN]
Let's see...

[RED]
"It's about what I ex-" bhoof!

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, this does a good amount. 1d8 plus six is 14. Yeah. He takes 14 points of damage, both bludgeoning and psychic, and as the punch lands, you see a shock of purplish energy come off of it. He staggers back, grabs his jaw, shakes it a little bit, goes, "Never mind. It's gonna be more fun than I thought." Dani, you're up.

[RED]
Eyy.

[AUSTIN]
There's a big thing in the way, so I don't know what you're planning to do. You're all the way on the bow of the ship, and the dome that encloses the helm is currently protecting these guys from being shot by you.

[SOPHIA]
Hmm, the dome, the dome, the dome. Looking over the edge of the ship, is there room below us? Like, how much open space do we have to maneuver up and down?

[AUSTIN]
Like 15 on each side, maybe?

[SOPHIA]
Not side-to-side, like, straight up and straight down?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, yeah, straight up and straight down. It's a tunnel, so it's more or less the same, like 15 feet.

[SOPHIA]
Gotcha, gotcha. So we couldn't drop down, slow down, and try and let them zoom right on past us to get behind them, could we?

[AUSTIN]
I mean, definitely not no, it would just be pretty difficult.

[SOPHIA]
Okay, I'm gonna put a pin in that for now, then. "Oh, I should have practiced my Gith more. I told Enoch to teach me curse words, and he didn't want to do it." Alright. Well, I guess I just have to try and get closer, because Dani was over the other side of the ship doing other nonsense. You know how it be when you're distracted. Technically, these guys are within range, but they're protected by a giant dome. So first things first, I'm gonna use a bunch of my movement to get a runnin'.

[RED]
Plug is nearby, though, right?

 
[SOPHIA]
Actually, point of order: how— Plug is on the other side of that. Dani, her cannon, and Plug are all just on the opposite side of the ship right now. But point of order: how much cover do they have from the dome? Is it full, partial?

[AUSTIN]
One of them has total cover, one of them has three-quarters cover.

[SOPHIA]
Okay, I am a Spell Sniper—

[AUSTIN]
From where you're standing.

[SOPHIA]
—which means that my spell attack ignores three-quarters cover.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, so you ignore three-quarters cover. You're going to have to come all the way to the port side to get any line of sight so it's three-quarters cover, but yeah, you can shoot guy on the left.

[SOPHIA]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
I should give them colors so that this isn't confusing to you guys. You get to be red. You get to be blue.

[SOPHIA]
And I don't think that that technically extends to the Force Ballista, but it could— That's...

[AUSTIN]
No, that's not a spell.

[SOPHIA]
So that would be firing with, like, disadvantage?

[AUSTIN]
It can shoot at him, it's just got— no, he has a plus five to his AC.

[SOPHIA]
Ah, gotcha. Okay, well, nothing to do except work with what we got. So first, Dani is going to run up five, ten, 15, 20, and just stand at the top of the steps in the opposite end, and with my goggles down, sort of going into, like, sniper vision, gonna whip out the multi-tool once more and square up to fire off a Fire Bolt at the guy who has three-quarters cover.

[AUSTIN]
Cool, but you ignore it for the Fire Bolt, so go ahead and roll.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, nice. Nice, nice, nice. That's going to be a 21 to hit.

[AUSTIN]
Yep, that'll hit.

[SOPHIA]
Nice. So it's going to be 2d10 plus the d6 of extra damage from my Arcane Firearm. Let's do this shit. Where is the Arcane Firearm? Yeah. Oh, it's a d8 from the Arcane Firearm, not a d6. Hold up. Let me pull out a bigger die. (dice clatters) Nice. That's going to be 14 points of fire damage.

[AUSTIN]
Hot damn. Oh, wait, what was the total to hit?

[SOPHIA]
20...

[RED]
21.

[SOPHIA]
21. Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
He will cast Shield as a reaction.

[SOPHIA]
How dare you use my own—

[RED]
Boo! That's cheating!

[AUSTIN]
Oh, wait, let me double-check. I'm pretty sure he has that. No, he doesn't have Shield! Enoch has that, not him. So he will not—

[SOPHIA]
Oh! Should have prepped it, bitch.

[RED]
That's my boy!

[AUSTIN]
He has something else cast on him, but.

[SOPHIA]
And as I'm reaching out to cast the Fire Bolt, Dani is going to yell in Gith— and audience, please bear with me, because I'm about to attempt to do Dani's voice and an Australian accent simultaneously, and I don't think this is going to go well.

[RED]
Oh, god. Here it comes.

[SOPHIA]
(quiet laughter) So sorry.

[WALLY]
No pressure. You got this.

[RED]
No, no. You get ready. Just prep yourself.

[SOPHIA]
So, you know when you're learning a language and you don't get to learn any curse words from textbooks, so you just have to make up something that sounds kind of like it could possibly be an insult from very, like, innocent-sounding terms?

 
[RED]
Uh-huh, uh-huh...

[SOPHIA]
(laughs) I learned Gith from, obviously, Gith for Dummies, so, similar situation. So Dani just yells in game— God, I can't do this. Oh my god. Austin, why did you make them Australian?

[RED]
You can do it, you can do it. It's a judgment-free zone.

[SOPHIA]
(in a bad, strangled Australian accent) Crikey! (devolves into laughter)

[AUSTIN]
(laughs)

[RED]
Keep it rolling, keep it rolling. Sorry.

[RED]
'Yes and' that shit.

[SOPHIA]
Yep. Yep, yep, yep. (in a bad Australian accent) You're a... you're a freshly-roasted... bongo meat? I don't know, what's a gith dish?

(laughter)

[NOIR]
That was a very valiant effort.

[RED]
Really intimidating! Good job, Dani!

[AUSTIN]
Make an intimidation check.

[SOPHIA]
I am not a professional voice actor. Oh, a natural 20!

 
[RED]
Oh my god!

(laughter)

[NOIR]
You butchered their language so horribly that they were scared and frightened by it.

[RED]
He's just incredibly offended.

[AUSTIN]
So that's what you think you said; and instead, he points a greatsword at you, says, "You bring my fuckin' mother into this, I'll have your head!"

[SOPHIA]
(laughs) And after doing that, the eldritch cannon will sort of chicken leg (scritches) up in front of Dani, and it's gonna fire off. He'll have three-quarters cover, so he'll get the additional AC, but it's gonna fire at him. Okay. Not terrible, not terrible. We'll see.

[RED]
Not terrible?

[SOPHIA]
Not terrible. I'm not gonna— You know what? Nope. I can't break the voice. This is pushing the limits of my ability to change the way my voice sounds today. That's going to be a 24 to hit.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, it's still going to hit, even with three-quarters cover.

[SOPHIA]
He's just so intimidated by my flawless Australian.

[RED]
He's doing the full 'are you not entertained?' pose. Like, 'you bring my mother into this!'

[SOPHIA]
(in a bad Australian accent) Are you not entertained?

[RED]
'You not entertained?' Oh, yeah.

[SOPHIA]
That is 11 points of force damage, and he is pushed five feet away from the cannon, which I'm hoping is over the edge of the ship.

[RED]
Over the edge??

[SOPHIA]
Although I think there's a railing there, I'm not sure.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, he's going to make a DEX save to try and hold on, though. Oh, no, there is a railing, you're right, actually.

[RED]
Please fail.

[AUSTIN]
There is a railing, but it's a valiant effort.

[RED]
He might still fall over the top. Maybe if he rolls really badly.

[AUSTIN]
I'm gonna roll... I'll roll a d20. If he rolls a one, he'll go over the edge. I'm gonna roll in front of everyone.

[RED]
Do it.

[SOPHIA]
Disadvantage because he's so intimidated by Dani's flawless—

[AUSTIN]
In front of God and everyone now.

(aww-ing)

[AUSTIN]
Nah.

[RED]
17.

[SOPHIA]
And Plug'll just start moving towards the front of the ship on his turn. But that's it for Dani.

[AUSTIN]
Alright. Kyana!

[RED]
Alright, well, this guy is flanked, so I am going to punch him. One of these rounds, I'll do something that isn't punching and you'll all be shocked. Okay, here we go. With advantage because of that tasty flank. (dice clatters) And it's two 14s, which is a 21 to hit.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. That'll hit.

[RED]
Good. Alright, d6 plus four. Alright, seven points of force damage on the first hit. Second attack, as per the yoozh. (dice clatters) Okay, that's a 25 to hit. The other one was a two.

[AUSTIN]
Okay.

[RED]
d6 plus four... (dice clatters) Ten points of force damage. And I think I will use a ki point to flurry of blows and attack again! Because I cannot pass up this flanking bonus. Alright, third attack. (dice clatters) Oh, disgusting. Well, that's a 14 to hit. And one of those was a natural one. Second attack. (dice clatters) Alright, that's better! That's a 26 to hit,19 and a 17. Six points of force damage that time.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, he does not like that. Forced fists find their way through his defenses. He's got a pauldron, but one side of his chest is not armored. And, yeah, you with your exceptional reach, are able to go right around this huge greatsword that he's using to keep people at bay and find your mark.

[RED]
That fashionable asymmetry will get you. Okay, so that was my action, my bonus action, and I'm good where I am. So that's my turn.

[AUSTIN]
Cool. You see this one goes to jump and try and clear the ship, and the other githyanki turns to him and says, "Oi! Deal with this one first, then you can go get her".

[RED]
Oh, no.

[AUSTIN]
And yeah, they're gonna run in. He turns back to Enoch. He says, "You're gonna have to wait just a minute until we deal with this one".

[RED]
Oh, I should have taken a dodge action!

[AUSTIN]
And they're gonna unload.

[SOPHIA]
Come on, Kyana!

[AUSTIN]
They are gonna unload four attacks.

[RED]
Come at me.

[AUSTIN]
At advantage.

[RED]
At advantage??

[AUSTIN]
Okay, that's a 14 on the first one. Yeah, they're flanking.

[RED]
Fail. Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, taste of my own medicine.

[AUSTIN]
Dirty 20.

[RED]
Dirty 20 will hit.

[AUSTIN]
Okay. You take 13 slashing and seven psychic, which you resist!

[RED]
Seven psychic. Oh, so I only take three psychic?

[AUSTIN]
You take three.

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
Yes. Even so, your mind is fortified against these defenses. You feel that other consciousness and you reel back, almost like a violation, as the psychic damage cuts through the blade, slices both skin and mind, and it feels bad. Two more attacks. That is a 19 to hit.

[RED]
That'll hit.

[AUSTIN]
11 slashing and... eight psychic down to four.

[RED]
Okay, so that's 15. Alright. Not great.

[AUSTIN]
And then the final attack. That's a 21 to hit.

[RED]
Yep. Okay.

[AUSTIN]
That's— Oh, I'm rolling so good on damage. 11 slashing...

[RED]
Uh-huh...

[AUSTIN]
...and nine psychic down to four.

[RED]
Ooh. Okay. Good. I have five hit points left.

[SOPHIA]
Ahh!

[WALLY]
Well, shit.

[AUSTIN]
You see as these two expert swordsmen come in and start cleaving back and forth. You're not getting cut with each of these, but the sheer effort it's taking to dodge two greatswords coming at you from both sides— You do a full Matrix bend back, one of your astral arms parries another one, you get a cut across the arm and feel a psychic. And it's just taxing you physically and mentally at this point to keep a lethal blow from falling.

[RED]
Hm! Not my favorite.

[AUSTIN]
One needs to keep steering. As long as the ship is moving, they can't all board. Another is going to make a jump attempt. Oh, holy shit, I don't think that's enough. Nope! Strength two. He rolled an eight, he just makes it.

[RED]
No!

[WALLY]
Another one?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. You guys still haven't had to fight the dragon, though, so.

[RED]
Oh, thanks.

[WALLY]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
So excited! Two failures, you get to actually be in range for these guys to attempt to jump on. Finbar! You see, these guys are rolling up now. Another one lands.

[WALLY]
How is blue looking?

[AUSTIN]
Blue? Not good! He's under half. Yeah, there's a big dome in the way. It's glass so you can see him, but.

[WALLY]
Yeah. Alright, so I'm gonna crawl down past and get line of sight so I can see all three from here.

[AUSTIN]
Uhh, yeah. Yeah, you can see them. The last one's going to have some cover. Maybe half cover? Yeah, like half cover.

[WALLY]
Yeah. Alright. Let's open up with some big damage. Red's unscathed, correct?

[AUSTIN]
No, red got hit by Dani. Red's not doing great either. He's more than half, but he got hit.

[WALLY]
Alright, then he's going to reach for his star map, this little cube with holes in it that correspond with the stars in the sky.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, it's actually weirdly reminiscent of the cube you're in.

[RED]
Ahh.

[AUSTIN]
Just coincidences. Nothing important there.

[WALLY]
He's going to grip it, and radiant light is going to fly all around him, and he's going to unleash a Guiding Bolt, from his star map.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, please hit. This is gonna be so cool. Alright, go for red.

[WALLY]
Plus eight to this. (dice clatters) 21?

[AUSTIN]
That'll hit!

[RED]
Yes!

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, against red, right?

[WALLY]
Yes. This is 4d6 radiant.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. That's not going to be good for him.

[WALLY]
Okay. I rolled a four, a four, a five, and a six.

[RED]
Nice!

[AUSTIN]
Jesus.

[WALLY]
19?

[AUSTIN]
19, Oh my god. He's not down, but please describe what this does. That's a huge hit. To be as poetic or as brutal as you want.

[WALLY]
It looks like a shooting star, essentially, that came right out of my fist. And riding said shooting star was another one of my fairies.

[RED]
Hey!

[WALLY]
Mm, you know, I'll just do the extra d6 this time around. That's an additional five piercing.

[RED]
Oh!

[AUSTIN]
Okay! This guy's not looking good, yeah. A streak of light, and this guy is now glowing. You see big, radiant bullseye, glowing on all the exposed skin, basically. The next attack against him is gonna have advantage.

[RED]
Tasty.

[AUSTIN]
Does that end your turn, Fin?

[WALLY]
Bonus action. I will activate— So the second the Guiding Bolt leaves my fist, the rest of the radiant energy covers my body as the image of a chalice appears on my shield, and I activate my Starry Form.

[AUSTIN]
Fantastic. Stern of the ship is getting very crowded. VR-LA! You're still mid–trench run. If there's any ability check you wanna try to make for the skill challenge, you could do that.

[NOIR]
Hmm.

[AUSTIN]
As long as you're navigating here. I don't know if you have anything new.

[NOIR]
Well, originally i did have this idea.

[SOPHIA]
Ooh!

[NOIR]
I did have this idea of basically trying to do something similar to what we attempted before, where VR-LA would intentionally steer the ship to kind of clip one of the cubes so that skeletons and/or hobgoblins would fall.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, you can do that! You can do that. You made an attempt and it didn't work, but... I mean, here's the thing: any ability check could always fail.

[NOIR]
Yeah.

[RED]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
You've already made a ship handling check, but if you can justify it some other way, then I will totally let you roll to try that.

[NOIR]
Well, I wasn't thinking that anymore because the risk of skeletons and/or hobgoblins falling on our deck and just increasing the encounter size for our party, I'm not going to risk it. For now...

[SOPHIA]
Barrel roll.

[NOIR]
Ehh, yeah.

[RED]
There's artificial gravity, right?

[SOPHIA]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, stuff sticks to the ship.

[NOIR]
I'm okay with just continuing to use my action to dash forward and...

[AUSTIN]
Okay.

[NOIR]
...and basically just keep the ship moving.

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
Alright. Enoch's turn. He will attack twice with advantage. Garbage, and... Oh, god. Change my dice.

[RED]
Come on, man.

[AUSTIN]
He shouts out, "Kyana!" and tries to get his arms around this dude, this githyanki. But the gith is way stronger than him and just throws him back against against the railings. Says, "I said I'd deal with you when I had a moment. Stay down."

[RED]
Rude!

 
[SOPHIA]
No, he's a guest!

[RED]
Kiss your mother with that mouth?

[WALLY]
(laughs)

[AUSTIN]
"Joke's on you: I never knew my mother!"

[RED]
Oh, that's deeply tragic. Do you want to talk about it?

[SOPHIA]
Let's unpack this.

[AUSTIN]
"Raaagh!"

(laughter)

[AUSTIN]
Dani, you're up.

[SOPHIA]
Okay. (clears throat) Yes. (laughs). Oh my god. I did use the downtime between turns to Google Australian slang just for this.

[RED]
Oh, no.

[SOPHIA]
So first, Dani's gonna use her movement to run up further to where the action is.

[RED]
She's got Gith for Dummies open, furiously paging through.

[SOPHIA]
Furiously paging through a travel guide to the Astral Sea.

[RED]
'Rude words'. (laughs)

[SOPHIA]
25, 30. So Dani runs up. Can I, from where I'm standing now, kind of in the center of the deck, do I have line of sight on the green guy to fire off a bolt at him?

[AUSTIN]
I think he was in the same space as last time as the other guy. So yeah, you definitely have line of sight. He still has cover. You still ignore cover.

[SOPHIA]
Great. So whipping around to pull out the multi-tool once again and fire off a bolt at him. As I do, Dani yells, "Oi, mate, you're a few stubbies short of a six pack," which is Australian slang, apparently. I Googled it. It seems right.

[RED]
Whoa!

[WALLY]
Okay.

[SOPHIA]
And that is going to be...

[AUSTIN]
(snickers) Green turns to red, he says, "Oi, you hear the mouth on this one?"

(laughter)

[SOPHIA]
I don't know how to do Australian, so it's just devolving into Cockney.

[NOIR]
I can't believe you're leaning into this.

 
[SOPHIA]
That's going to be a 26 to hit.

[AUSTIN]
I know, yeah, mine got a little Cockney there, too. You know what? The green one has a cockney accent.

[RED]
Yeah.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Red and blue are Australian, but green's got a Cockney.

[SOPHIA]
It's like a regional thing.

[AUSTIN]
Also, 26 of course hits. Stop asking me nonsense questions and roll your damage.

[SOPHIA]
So that's gonna be a 2d10 plus a d8 because this is coming from my Arcane Firearm.

[RED]
It's about the flex.

[SOPHIA]
Oh that's pretty good. That's 20 points of fire damage.

[AUSTIN]
Jesus motherfucking Christ.

[RED]
Woo!

[SOPHIA]
I rolled an eight and a seven and a five. Heheh.

[AUSTIN]
(fire scorch) Yeah, this guy gets fully burned. He shouts and comes back and wipes away, and there's a scorch all along his face.

[RED]
Yikes!

[AUSTIN]
He points his sword and says, "Oi, I'll get you for that one."

[RED]
Oi.

[SOPHIA]
Your mom will get me for that one! I don't know what I'm doing.

[AUSTIN]
"Oi!" That's how he starts every sentence. They call him Oi.

[RED]
Eyy!

[SOPHIA]
That's how you get into character.

[AUSTIN]
(airhorn noises) Turn down for what?

[SOPHIA]
(airhorn noises) The eldritch cannon can move 15 feet and Plug can move 15 feet forward. So both of them are going to use their movement. Five, ten, 15. ...Five, ten, 15. In doing so, can either of them take a shot at either green or blue from where they're standing? I think... Plug can't. He's out of range. Okay.

[AUSTIN]
Cannon can still shoot at blue. Yeah. Plug is way out. Plug might not make it through this fight.

[SOPHIA]
I'm sorry, cannon can shoot at blue or green?

[AUSTIN]
Green. He's just gonna have three-quarters cover from the glass dome.

[SOPHIA]
Okay. Cannon is going to take the three— I gotta name the cannons at some point.

[SOPHIA]
If anyone in the audience has any cannon name suggestions, please tweet them at me or something.

[AUSTIN]
This is gonna be out *way* after we're done recording all of these.

[SOPHIA]
They'll be named in my heart. It's like Adopt a Tiger or, like, Name a Star? It's that, but for Dani's cannons. Force Ballista is gonna fire at him, let's see if we can hit this bad boy. (dice clacks) Okay, not bad. Dirty 20 to hit.

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
That'll— Oh, wait, no, he has three-quarters cover.

[SOPHIA]
He has three-quarters.

[RED]
Come on, come on.

[AUSTIN]
That'll miss.

[SOPHIA]
Ahh.

[RED]
Rude.

 
[AUSTIN]
You see part of the glass (shot blast). The force hits and scatters off the edge of the glass dome, protecting the spelljamming helm.

[SOPHIA]
Ooh! Sorry, VR-LA. And that'll end Dani's turn.

[AUSTIN]
Alright.

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
That brings us to Kyana. Kyana, fully bloodied.

[RED]
Yep.

[AUSTIN]
But you know what happens when you take out someone in this world. Red and blue are both in spitting distance. Red is looking way worse. Your first attack on red would have advantage, all your attacks on blue will have advantage.

[RED]
Okay, I have a question about—

[AUSTIN]
Yeah?

[RED]
—the glass dome. Because it occurs to me, I have a tactical advantage that these guys do not, which is my Slippers of Spider Climb and a bonus action disengage I can take for free.

[AUSTIN]
That's absolutely something you could do, yeah. Yes. For those listening—

[RED]
I am simply wondering—

[AUSTIN]
— our version of the homebrew monk, pretty much the same, except that the bonus action of dodge dash or disengage does not cost a ki point for Kyana.

[RED]
Right.

[AUSTIN]
Because rogues can do it for free, so why not monks?

[RED]
Right. So, if the glass dome is, say, sturdy enough to not explode when the Arcane Cannon scatters off of it...

[AUSTIN]
Oh, yeah, you could walk on it. Totally.

[RED]
Good! Okay, now, I have a question: could these guys walk on it?

[AUSTIN]
They can jump, but they probably don't have Sippers of Spider Climb.

[RED]
So they might have, like, disadvantage by difficult terrain? If they try to follow me up?
[AUSTIN]
They probably can't even— They might try to— That's a good question. Would it be worth it for them to waste trying to jump? You don't know, but certainly they're not going to be able to flank you up there.

[RED]
Right. Now, the other useful thing about that is that my arms have a ten-foot reach, so I can bonus action disengage up to— Let me move myself. Alright, so I can move— I mean, you all know what I mean. Two squares up from where I am.

[AUSTIN]
I'll go ahead and move you. Two squares up?

[RED]
Thank you.

[AUSTIN]
And you'll take a bonus action disengage. You expend some of your turn here. The two arms go— I'm thinking like in Castlevania, when they're in the Belmont library, and Trevor's fighting, with just a stick, that horrible bird monster thing? And he comes in real close, and then its wings go out and push him back? Your arms come in for defense and then push back and give you just enough space to spider climb your way up this glass dome.

[RED]
So I'm now on the dome, *and* they're both in range of me.

[AUSTIN]
That is correct. you no longer have flanking on blue. But red, you'll have advantage until you hit him.

[RED]
Okay. Then I'm going to attack the red one with advantage. And I'm going to use the nicer dice. Well that's not fantastic. That's a 16. Which I'm guessing won't hit.

[AUSTIN]
At advantage? 16 does not hit.

[RED]
Well, my second attack—

[AUSTIN]
You still have advantage, because you have advantage until you hit him.

[RED]
Yep. My second attack... (dice clatters) Come on! 17. The purple dice are betraying me.

[AUSTIN]
17 will just hit.

 
[RED]
It will?? Oh, thank goodness.

[SOPHIA]
Yes!

[RED]
The purple dice were really, really not doing so hot. Okay, d6 plus four damage. Come on. (dice clatters) Aagh! Five points of force damage.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, five will not do it.

[RED]
But honestly, I'll take the 'no longer immediately in hitting range'. Little breathing room.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, it's pretty good.

[AUSTIN]
These guys don't have a great to hit, they rely on tactics like flanking.

[RED]
Haha! Tactics!

[AUSTIN]
And they do immense damage too, they're doing 4d6 damage.

[RED]
Yeah, I noticed!

[AUSTIN]
But they don't have a great to hit, that's the balance of these guys. Yeah. Boom, clock. You see radiant energy bursts as one astral arm collides in the chest. That guy's not looking good, but it is their turn. Blue will turn back to Enoch and say, "Alright. Guess it's just you and me, then."

[RED]
No, my boy!

[AUSTIN]
Red is going to use his jump to clear the dome and will use his action to attack twice, not at advantage at Kyana.

[RED]
Oh, no...

[AUSTIN]
And green is gonna do something else. First, we're going to roll for Enoch. Two attacks. One will miss, one will hit. So Enoch takes... Ooh, that's good. Oh my god, I rolled almost max damage.

[RED]
No!

[AUSTIN]
24 damage total to him. He's okay.

[SOPHIA]
Ruh-roh.

[AUSTIN]
Unlike them, he does not have a great AC, but he has a lot of hit points.

[RED]
Well, that's good.

[AUSTIN]
You see, it should be a lethal blow, and instead, he parries the blade to the side, and it just scratches his rib cage a little bit, and then goes into the wood. The githyanki pulls the greatsword back out. This one is gonna go five, ten, 15, 20— He'll jump this way, 15, 20, and land over here. And as he does, he's gonna make his two attacks at Kyana.

[RED]
Oh. Interesting...

[AUSTIN]
Yep. Moving attacks, you can attack mid-movement. That's completely legal. Alright, here we go. Two attacks on Kyana.

[RED]
Just— come on, let's do it. Let's do it!

[AUSTIN]
Okay, he only has a plus four to hit, I believe.

[RED]
Alright...

[AUSTIN]
So odds are not good on him hitting. (dice rolls) That's an eight and a natural 20.

[RED]
Okay. Great. Well, I hope one of you can heal me next turn.

[WALLY]
I have the chalice warmed up.

[AUSTIN]
So, I mean, I could roll. It's gonna be a lot of damage, though.

[RED]
Just do it! Look, if it's over five, it's gonna K.O. me.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. Well, hold on, let's make sure it's not double your max hit points, otherwise you'll die outright.

[WALLY]
If it's not 39, then...

[AUSTIN]
It might be close, and only because she resists psychic damage. So it's only 28 points of damage, so you don't die outright.

[RED]
Oh, goody.

[SOPHIA]
Good.

[AUSTIN]
Your boots are still sticking you up there, so that's the good thing. But, yeah, you see Kyana slump.

[RED]
Well, that's good.

[WALLY]
That's kinda awkward.

[SOPHIA]
It's just like— (laughs) Like one of those car wash, or, like, used car lot, like—

[AUSTIN]
Okay, in my version of D&D, unconscious is not like you're a limp fish. It means, like you're in no shape to fight.

(laughter)

[NOIR]
Well, yeah, because she would be just flying in the distance.

[SOPHIA]
Like those blow-up guys with the arms! (laughs) I'm so sorry, Kyana.

[AUSTIN]
In my version, it's— You're not fully like a limp fish, you're in no shape to fight or defend yourself.

[RED]
Okay, cool.

[AUSTIN]
You're in no shape to take any actions other than death saves. But yeah, you slump back. A huge blow cuts right across you, and you go to stop— you see the blood running down your hand as you go to put it against the wound on your abdomen. And this last guy is going to bonus action Misty Step.

[RED]
Oh, these guys are jerks.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, no. Oh fuck me, dude. (laughs)

[AUSTIN]
Five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 30. And then he's gonna use the Jump sp— He's got five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 30—

[SOPHIA]
It's fine.

[AUSTIN]
Hold on, wait, maybe he can't make it to you.

[SOPHIA]
Oh get fucked, bro.

[AUSTIN]
If he doesn't have 60 feet of movement, then he can't— if you're more than 60 feet away, then he can't make it to you.

[WALLY]
Would he have taken an attack of opportunity from me?

[AUSTIN]
No, he Misty Stepped past you.

[WALLY]
Oh, right. Yes.

[SOPHIA]
That looks to me like I am 70 feet away from him.

[AUSTIN]
He can't make it to you.

[AUSTIN]
So he'll take the dodge ac—

[RED]
Hey!

[AUSTIN]
Mm, no, he'll move up because he knows that you're a ranged person, so he'll use his action to dash.

[SOPHIA]
Aw.

[RED]
Boo. So he can't attack now?

[AUSTIN]
Correct. But he's in melee with Dani.

[RED]
Well, that's nice.

[AUSTIN]
He says, "Oi! One more time, what'd you say?"

[RED]
Oi!

[AUSTIN]
He always starts every sentence with "oi". That's how Cockney people speak, right?

[RED]
Right, of course.
[SOPHIA]
I have a mortal enemy now, and it's this guy.

[WALLY]
It's that guy, yeah.

[SOPHIA]
I got him, you guys. Don't worry.

[AUSTIN]
Fin, what will you do?

[SOPHIA]
This one's mine.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, that githyanki gets a bunch of temporary hit points for bringing you to zero HP.

[SOPHIA]
Aw.

[RED]
Hey, I'm not dead yet.

[NOIR]
He's got the bloodlust.

[WALLY]
Is there a way for me to just reach over and use my action?

[NOIR]
You're tall enough.

[AUSTIN]
So it's totally— you've got a great strength score, you got enough to jump up there and touch her. You'll fall back down, you'll end your turn here next to the githyanki, but you can jump up there, it's no problem.

[WALLY]
I merely need a gentle touch as I cast Cure Wounds.

[RED]
Oh, goody!

[AUSTIN]
Finbar's enormous form gracefully rounds the glass dome here and jumps up. You feel that warmth and the bleeding staunches: you see red scar tissue on your abdomen where the wound closed as Finbar casts Cure Wounds. And Lalin will pulse and give you a little bit of extra healing I believe, right?

[WALLY]
Yes, it's an extra d4. That's—

 
[AUSTIN]
And the chalice as well, right?

[WALLY]
Chalice gives me a d8 to another target.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, so you can double up and hit her again with more healing, or you can hit someone else.

[RED]
Ooh. Doubling up might be nice.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. Don't worry about Enoch. He's fine. He's got a lot of hit points. He's not good at killing things, he's good at staying in the fight.

I mean, he may die. These guys are no fucking joke, but.

[WALLY]
I can keep them up. Oh! Okay, then I'll double up, fuck it. Yeah, fuck it, then I'll double up.

[RED]
Cool.

[WALLY]
Here we go. (dice clatters) Oh, that's a six on that. So you... gain... 20.

[RED]
Oh thank goodness. Thank you!

[AUSTIN]
Really good.

[AUSTIN]
And then you go ahead and fall back down to your spot.

[RED]
Yeah. The good news is, I just checked and there's nothing in either of my astral forms about them going down when I go unconscious, so I don't need to resummon them!

[AUSTIN]
Oh, hot damn.

[RED]
Whew. Didn't wanna burn two more ki on that.

[SOPHIA]
So the giant astral arms were, like, flapping, like the inflatable guy at the car wash. (laughs) Does Kyana become difficult terrain in that situation?

(laughter)

[AUSTIN]
No, just a little bit sad.

[RED]
Yeah. It was a bummer.

[WALLY]
Yeah, that's my turn.

[SOPHIA]
Noice, Finbar.

[RED]
Thank you.

[AUSTIN]
Noice.

[SOPHIA]
We love a healing tank.

[RED]
Yes.

[AUSTIN]
VR-LA, would you like to attempt anything, or are you just gonna keep going?

[NOIR]
Okay, so if I were to exit my chair, run and do something, and then just go back, by the next turn would I be able to just continue dashing? And how would that affect the current chase?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. The ship will slow down, but I'm not gonna count that as a failure. Like, skill checks are failures. Losing one round of speed in this turn, in this case, I'll allow it.

[NOIR]
Right. Okay.

[RED]
But it does mean the dragon might catch up, but we'll deal with that later.

[SOPHIA]
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

[AUSTIN]
All of the speed stuff is just theater of the mind, right? Like, how we're not counting— you guys are going 120 feet in a round, but the dragon has this speed. It's ability checks in the skill challenge: each time you accumulate a failure, they get closer and get the ability to do something else. So if you get three failures, the dragon is gonna catch up. But for now, two failures means that it's close enough for some of them to board a little bit at a time.

[NOIR]
Oh— uh, hold on. Am I within 90 feet of the dragon? No, right?

[SOPHIA]
Oh?

[RED]
Oh?

[AUSTIN]
No, because you're close enough for them to jump. So I would say it's behind them. It's pretty close, but yeah, within 90 feet.

[RED]
Hohoho!

[SOPHIA]
What're you gonna do, VR-LA?

[NOIR]
Okay, yeah. I'm just gonna get up from my chair, so I am not actively focusing on it. I totally forgot I had this thing. I'm gonna see the dragon that I can see within range, and I will cast Earthbind on the dragon.

[SOPHIA]
Ohohohohoho, yes!

[RED]
Yes. yes!

[AUSTIN]
Oh, holy shit. Dude, if this succeeds, that's definitely gonna be a success. Okay, here's what's up: let me double-check, I believe dragons have a plus four strength save.

[NOIR]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
They do, they have a plus four, which I'm gonna roll in the chat here. What number are we trying to beat?

[NOIR]
It is 15, so I'm not—

[RED]
11 and up.

[AUSTIN]
Roll 1d20 plus four.

[SOPHIA]
Come on...

 
[RED]
You know, 50-50. Alright, here we go.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, Jesus Christ.

[NOIR]
Oh, geez! (laughs)

[AUSTIN]
Natural 20.

[RED]
Oh my god. Oh, man.

[AUSTIN]
You see, you reach out and yellow bands of energy erupt from either side of this like a net across the chasm.

[NOIR]
That was a natural 20.

[AUSTIN]
And for a moment, you think you caught it, and then it comes rearing up from behind the ship, and you realize it was just too late. It shrugged off these yellow bands. That was— oh, brilliant. I mean, you got another one of those in you? Because what are the odds it rolls—

[NOIR]
I have four more of them.
[RED]
Four more?? Alright, we're good then!

[SOPHIA]
Hell, yeah.

[AUSTIN]
What are the odds it rolls two 20s, you know?

[RED]
It's a matter of not—

[AUSTIN]
Yeah.

[NOIR]
Yeah.

[RED]
Yeah, it's not a matter of *if* you're gonna do it, but *when*.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, I imagine you just rear view mirror this, like, you're sitting in the chair, just look over. I shouldn't look over my shoulder in real life, because then I'm not facing the microphone, and the audience can't see it anyway.

[SOPHIA]
(laughs) It's theater.

[NOIR]
Well I got three more of those, so.

[RED]
Incredible.

[AUSTIN]
It's brilliant. Alright, Enoch. Yeah. And you can keep using your movement to go...

[SOPHIA]
Come on, Enoch. Enoch's turn, he's got advantage.

[SOPHIA]
Do some punchy punches, my boy.

[RED]
Hit 'em. Get 'em, get 'em!

[AUSTIN]
That's a miss.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, Enoch. Why did we save you?

[AUSTIN]
That's a hit. He hits on one.

[RED]
Yes!

[SOPHIA]
Yes, Enoch!

[RED]
Two attacks at advantage, baby!

[AUSTIN]
It's 3d8. Okay, very nice.

[AUSTIN]
So that's 12 damage to blue. Blue is not looking good. Boom! Takes him low. Dani, this guy has just landed and ran up in front of you, silver greatsword brandished. What will you do?

[SOPHIA]
Well, Dani is not impressed. So while she sizes him up and gives him the 'you're nothing to me' eyes up and down, the Force Ballista is gonna come out from behind her (five, ten, 15). And I'm gonna use my bonus action to have it fire at him.

(laughter)

[SOPHIA]
(in a bad Australian accent) "You know what? I'm thinking... Gith on the barbie tonight!" And I'm gonna have the cannon fire at him.
[AUSTIN]
(laughs) He goes, "Huh?"

[RED]
This has been a very painful fight for a lot of reasons.

[SOPHIA]
This is— I am so sorry to our audience.

 
[AUSTIN]
Sorry. Sorry, to all our abroad listeners.

[SOPHIA]
And also, I refuse to apologize for 'yes and'–ing Austin's character choice.

[AUSTIN]
This is D&D. It's sometimes gonna be a little cringe, and you have to accept that, audience. If you want the fun, you also gotta join in for the silly voices that sound stupid.

[RED]
Yeah.

[SOPHIA]
That's a 25 to hit.

[RED]
Oh my god.

[AUSTIN]
Uh, yeah. Just, stop asking.

[AUSTIN]
AC is 17. If you hit a 17, just roll damage. You're making me feel bad.

[SOPHIA]
13 points of force damage, and he gets pushed five feet away from the cannon, which I do believe is over the edge of the ship.

[RED]
Yes! Yes!

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, okay. So, he's gonna make a DEX save against your DC. I'll roll that in front of the group as well. Githyanki warrior, he's got a plus two to this. Your DC is 15?

[SOPHIA]
Yes.

[RED]
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[AUSTIN]
Alright. 1d20 plus two. That's it!

[RED]
Eyy!

[AUSTIN]
Boom! You see, he goes and he reaches out to grab onto you, and just reaches air and then goes flying off into space. So yeah, fuck that dude in particular.

[RED]
Incredible. Yeah, right?

[SOPHIA]
(chuckles) (in a bad Australian accent) Thanks for visiting.

[AUSTIN]
Is he dead? I'm gonna count him as dead. Dani, how many hit points do you have?

[SOPHIA]
How many hit points do I have?

[AUSTIN]
Or, what's your maximum hit points?

[SOPHIA]
35, And I haven't taken any damage yet since we had a short rest, so it's still at 35.

[AUSTIN]
Alright, you gain 17 temporary hit points.

[SOPHIA]
Ohohohoho, is Dani a tank now??

[AUSTIN]
How does Dani feel with this bloodlust that enters her?

[SOPHIA]
I don't feel that different from usual, if I'm being completely honest.

(laughter)

[AUSTIN]
Inspiration.

[NOIR]
She's been had the bloodlust.

[SOPHIA]
I feel powerful.

[AUSTIN]
I cannot believe there's such a huge jump in the initiative, but Kyana, you're up.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, my turn is not over yet, that was just my bonus action.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, I'm sorry. Stupid me.

[RED]
Oh, god.

[SOPHIA]
Um, and I believe that the red guy who is now in front of the dome is within range of my Fire Bolt, which is what I'm gonna fire at him.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, my god.

[RED]
Get 'em, get 'em!

[SOPHIA]
It feels good to be the tank sometimes, and Dani's gonna nonchalantly look over her shoulder where the guy is plummeting to his death in a very Australian sounding "Ahh!" slowly getting quieter.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, what's an Australian Wilhelm scream? (in an Australian accent)

[RED]
(laughs) "Aurgg!"

[SOPHIA]
"Crikey!"

[AUSTIN]
An Australian Wilhem— Wilman? Wilhem? Wilhem.

[RED]
(laughs)

[SOPHIA]
It's just a, "Crikeeey!"

[AUSTIN]
"Crikey! Crikeeey".

[SOPHIA]
Yeah.

[RED]
But that was the cockney one, right? "Oiii!"

[NOIR]
I'm so sorry to all Australian and cockney people.

[SOPHIA]
Sorry to all of our Australian listeners for this episode. And then she'll turn around and the glowing goggles sort of track and lock on to the red guy standing just outside the dome, and I'll pull out the Baronium Fluctuator multi-tool and fire off a Fire Bolt at him.
[RED]
Yeah!

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, that's gonna be a 23 to hit?

[AUSTIN]
Do it!

[AUSTIN]
Yeah.

[RED]
Okay.

[SOPHIA]
Alright, that's 2d10 plus a d8 because it's coming from my Arcane Firearm. Where are my d10s at? I should stop losing these. I need them for things. (dice clatters) Ooh. Very, very— This guy is so fucked. 26 points of fire damage.

[AUSTIN]
Finish him, Dani.

[RED]
Yes! Describe it.

[NOIR]
Hell, yes. You can't get more temporary hit points because they don't stack. But, yeah, more of that bloodlust. Tell me how this guy dies.

[RED]
Double bloodlust.

[SOPHIA]
Dani's eyes, you can't see them because they're underneath her goggles, just flare a little bit red from— Actually, her eyes are gold kind of hues so they just flash a little bit specklier, and she feels a little bit warmer inside. But Dani's pretty much ready to throw hands at anyone, so I don't know how much this realm is actually changing her baseline levels of bloodlust.

[RED]
Yeah...

[SOPHIA]
That's my turn. Uh, Plug will move forward 15 more feet. He's slowly getting closer to being useful.

[AUSTIN]
A fantastic end to this turn.

[RED]
Yeah, wow.

[AUSTIN]
Alright, Kyana. The gith are up.

[RED]
Well, I had been planning to go and punch the red guy because I was worried he was gonna get into the dome, but it appears that problem has been solved, so I will simply right myself and punch ten feet downwards at the blue guy. Now I am not flanking him, but he is thoroughly flanked. Is there a chance I get advantage?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, you don't get advantage.

[RED]
Okay. Regular attack. Alright. Well, that's a five, so that's not gonna work. Second attack. (dice clatters) That is also a five on a different die. So that's not gonna work either. Now I am going to—

[AUSTIN]
You're having a hard time righting yourself.

[RED]
I am not liking this fight so far. I'm gonna burn a ki point to flurry of blows, and I'm going to—

[AUSTIN]
He's so close to dead.

[RED]
—hit him two more times, because I kind of want this guy dead. He's not the guy who really did a number on me, but that guy just exploded, so I'll take what I can get. (dice clatters) That was a two. Why are my dice betraying me? Final attack. (dice clatters) That was a four. That was— Wow.

[AUSTIN]
No! Kyana—

[RED]
Well that was— Yeah.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, no...

[AUSTIN]
—the stalwart, unfailing, cannot land a blow on this guy.

[RED]
All of these dice are in the shame corner now.

[SOPHIA]
Aw.

[AUSTIN]
I think feeling a little bit more in tune with that inside of you, yeah, there's a little bit of fear that's just— Suddenly the awareness of it makes it hard to ignore. And yeah, you're just having a hard time actually getting through his defenses. He sneers up at you. Now it's his turn.

[RED]
Yeah, alright, laugh all you can.

[AUSTIN]
You're too far away, and he is surrounded.

[RED]
Haha!

[AUSTIN]
And he doesn't like Finbar, but he *really* hates githzerai, so he's gonna go for Enoch.

[SOPHIA]
Ugh.

 
[RED]
My 20 hit points are safe for another round.

[AUSTIN]
Two natural ones on his two attacks.

[RED]
Eat it! Oh! Oh! Who's laughing now?

[SOPHIA]
Get. Wrecked.

[AUSTIN]
He comes in with a sword, and you see Enoch is expecting it, and the two hands clasp. And now he's holding the greatsword between his two hands, Buffy versus Angel style, and will not let it go.

[RED]
Oh! Oh!

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, the last guy needs to be steering the ship.

[SOPHIA]
I love that we got a Buffy reference in.

[AUSTIN]
There's two more— I wish there was more time for Buffy references. It's not that kind of game, though.

[RED]
That's how monks do it!

[AUSTIN]
It's more of a Star Wars/Firefly kind of game.

[RED]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Next season, we'll do Buffy. Finbar, this dude is trapped and distracted.

[RED]
Finish him!

[AUSTIN]
By the way, succeeding on the last encounter gave you guys a success. If you win this encounter, which will also give you a success, and bring you really close to succeeding in this skill challenge.

[RED]
Woohoo!

[SOPHIA]
And then we can try ducking down underneath them and having them fly ahead of us, right? (snickers) That will totally succeed.

[AUSTIN]
If you wanna try that, you can do it.

[SOPHIA]
(laughs) Oh hell yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Alright, Fin, what will you do?

[RED]
And then we do a full reverse, Mr. Sulu.

[SOPHIA]
(laughs)

[NOIR]
That might conflict with the whole Earthbind thing that VR-LA has planned.

[SOPHIA]
Mm, true.
[WALLY]
He had left his longbow on some other section of the ship. But there's one last weapon he doesn't particularly use all that often, and that is his bonking stick.

 
[SOPHIA]
Yes!

[WALLY]
Used to finish off kills.

[WALLY]
So he takes out his club. As a bonus action, I will cast Shillelagh.

[NOIR]
Oh, hell yeah.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, yes.

[RED]
Oh!

[AUSTIN]
You watch— Fantastic. Go ahead.

[WALLY]
I'm gonna bonk him.

[AUSTIN]
El Kabong!

[RED]
Bonk him.

[WALLY]
At advantage, because I'm flanking.

[AUSTIN]
At advantage.

[RED]
Yes, yes!

[WALLY]
(dice clatters) Okay. Whoo, okay. That's a two and a 13. A total of 19 to hit. No, no, wait. Plus eight.

[AUSTIN]
That'll hit. 21 to hit.

[AUSTIN]
Okay. Yeah, that'll definitely hit.

[WALLY]
Mkay, so that's a d8 plus four. (dice clatters) It's a six plus four, for a total of ten.

[RED]
Ten damage.

[AUSTIN]
This guy is so. Close.

[WALLY]
Okay, pixies come through.

[RED]
Yes!

[WALLY]
Right in the kisser.

[SOPHIA]
Yes, pixies. Which spice is it this time?

[RED]
Pixie uppercut!

[SOPHIA]
Which one's landing the hit?

[WALLY]
This one— Okay, let me look at my list.

[SOPHIA]
Not to make you do research, but I genuinely love how much all these pixies are named after spices.

[RED]
Cardamom.

[NOIR]
Turmeric.

[WALLY]
This is Dill.

[SOPHIA]
Yes, Dill!

[RED]
Dill??

[SOPHIA]
Yes, Dill! (laughs)

[AUSTIN]
(laughs)

[NOIR]
When are we gonna see Old Bay, huh?

(laughter)

[WALLY]
Old Bay can barely get out of bed, nowadays.

[AUSTIN]
Cursed.

[NOIR]
(laughs)

[RED]
No...

[WALLY]
But he likes to hear all the stories from our adventures when we come home, so.

[SOPHIA]
Aww.

[RED]
Aww!

[NOIR]
Oh, that's very sweet.

[WALLY]
Dill does an extra three points of piercing.

[AUSTIN]
You only needed one. You see

[SOPHIA]
Yes, Dill!

[RED]
Yes! Finbar pulls out the stick. His Fomorian Gauntlet, his arm seems to swell, and with one arm comes through. What happens? Tell me how you finish this guy.

[WALLY]
Right above the head. He crumples straight down to the ground.

[RED]
Bonk!

[AUSTIN]
Crumples down to the ground.

[WALLY]
And I'm gonna say, "Don't touch the girl."

[NOIR]
Aww.

[SOPHIA]
Aww.

 
[RED]
Aww! Thanks, Finbar!

[AUSTIN]
VR-LA, if you can succeed at this, I'll count it as a success. First of all, that's a success for you guys, and if you can succeed in taking this dragon out, that'll get you a success.

[SOPHIA]
Come on, VR-LA!

[NOIR]
Yeah, I'll try Earthbind again.

[SOPHIA]
Come on, VR-LA!

[AUSTIN]
Alright.

[RED]
One more 50-50 shot, baby.

[NOIR]
Strength saving throw for them.

[AUSTIN]
1d20 plus four. Alright, here we go.

[SOPHIA]
May the Force guide you.

[SOPHIA]
You are one with the Force, and the Force is with you— Aww.

[NOIR]
Aww!

[RED]
Aww! It's going down, though. It was only a 17 this time.

 
[AUSTIN]
Burst through a second time.

[SOPHIA]
Aagh.

[AUSTIN]
Burst through a second time. The ship is nearing and nearing. Alright, the combat drops. Is there any more skill checks you guys would like to employ? I'm gonna say give other people a chance, and then if you want to try one more Earthbind, VR-LA. But we gotta at least let someone else go first, and potentially fail which would let them get close to you.

[SOPHIA]
So, putting together the pieces of a plan, the flamethrower is at the front of the ship, just resting there, right?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. Yeah, that's accurate.

[SOPHIA]
Okay. Do I have any sense of how usable it is?

[AUSTIN]
It's not set up, so not really usable.

[SOPHIA]
So we don't really have any front cannons?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, you need to set it up, and then load it with ammunition and stuff.

[SOPHIA]
Right, right, right. Okay.

[RED]
Oh, shit. Sorry, I just realized, my Visage of the Astral Self should have given me advantage on my insight check that one time that we failed.

[SOPHIA]
Oh.

[AUSTIN]
Oh.

[SOPHIA]
R.I.P.

[NOIR]
Now you know.

[RED]
Yep. Next time, baby. I can throw a dart at him, but I don't think it'll do much.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah. My only thought is—

[AUSTIN]
Skill check, anything?

[SOPHIA]
—the idea that we drop and let them go forward— does it look like the tunnel turns at all in front of us? Is there anywhere where— Like, are we sort of going in a straight line, or is it sort of veering and zigzagging?

[AUSTIN]
It's more or less straight line, and you're coming out the other end of it soon.

[SOPHIA]
Okay.

[RED]
Is there a way that we can put up a wall behind us? Like a spell of some kind that could do that?

[NOIR]
What do I have... I don't have any of that.

[SOPHIA]
I exclusively have cantrips currently.

 
[RED]
Great.

[SOPHIA]
But if anything could be dislodged with a Fire Bolt, perhaps I could maybe knock some metal off?

[WALLY]
Can we hit another paneling?

[SOPHIA]
Yeah.

[WALLY]
Let's pick another section of the cube.

[RED]
Well, we can try that again, but...

[SOPHIA]
Pick another section of the cube and try and knock some stuff off, see what we can scrap up?

[RED]
Well, we can try that again.

[AUSTIN]
Enoch places his hands together, is gonna cast a quick spell on himself. Cool.

[NOIR]
Enlarge, Enlarge, Enlarge.

[AUSTIN]
What are you guys gonna try? Not Enlarge.

[NOIR]
Aw.

[RED]
Aw.

[AUSTIN]
There's no physical change that accompanies it.

[NOIR]
Dang.

[SOPHIA]
Alright.

[NOIR]
I have investigation. What can I do for investigation? Can I— Well, it's just a tunnel.

[RED]
I don't wanna risk another insight check at this point, but.

[AUSTIN]
I mean, you do have advantage. I mean, you're not really supposed to repeat, but.

[RED]
I do, and it is plus seven. That's the thing, I don't want to cheat.

[NOIR]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, but it's also... I would allow it because last time you should have rolled at advantage, so.

[RED]
Well, I guess, but with my luck from today...

[AUSTIN]
We still got the failure in there, so that's fine. If you want to retry it, I would allow that.

[RED]
Well, you know, may as well. If it ain't broke. Let's give it one more shot, and I'm gonna roll these dice one at a time. (dice clatters) And that first one is a seven.

[AUSTIN]
What DC did I set last time, do you remember? 20?

[RED]
Oh, fuck. I think you probably did. (dice clatters) Oh my god! Well, good news everybody, I rolled a dirty 20 on the second one! I got a 13.

[NOIR]
Oh, amazing.

[SOPHIA]
Hell, yeah!

[NOIR]
Advantage working out.

[RED]
Oh, man. Okay.

[AUSTIN]
Alright. Yeah, so describe how you're using your insight here.

[RED]
I think I'm scanning the— I think the thing is, the gravity of of these cubes is really funky, it looks like. Like, everyone's just standing on every surface.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, it kind of pulls inwards, but it's a little unclear because people are running in the tunnels.

[RED]
Yeah, but I think I'm starting to get a feel for how it specifically works in the tunnel, and it's like, okay, I was looking up, but we don't need to look up. There's things all around us that'll fall in the right direction we need it to, because we're going down right in the middle of this tunnel.
[AUSTIN]
Correct, yep.

 
[RED]
So stuff would probably just accumulate in the middle of the tunnel if we knock it loose. So I'm scanning in different directions, and I think I spot something more on the low end of the ship that if we dislodge, it'll fly up behind us and kind of get in the way of the pursuing ships, I hope.

[AUSTIN]
Yes. Alright. Yeah, you point this out. What do you say? Let me hear this little interaction. What do you say to VR-LA, and VR-LA how do you react? Because you already tried this and it didn't work.

[RED]
I think we were looking too linearly. And I think if we hit that thing down there, it'll fly up behind us, because the gravity's funky in here.

[NOIR]
Oh, I see what you mean.

[RED]
I'm just on the glass, pressing my face up against it. "It's that way!"

(laughter)

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, directly above him on the dome. It comes through all muffled.

[RED]
I like to be tall!

[NOIR]
VR-LA 'A Beautiful Mind's the math.

[AUSTIN]
"Oh, I see!" You 'A Beautiful Mind' the math, get the mast, the already broken mast right where you need it to be. Boom! Yeah. This huge— it looks like it was probably some siege engine, but now it's just a smoking, flaming pile of wood— is caught and goes flying up. It spins, bounces off the side, and flies towards the ship. You see the ship fully dragonfly, it's too big, it breaks. So close to ending the skill challenge. Only the dragon still in pursuit of you.

 
[NOIR]
Gee, I wonder what I can do.

[AUSTIN]
Alright.

[NOIR]
Well let's see.

[RED]
Three more shots, bruh.

[NOIR]
Yeah, I'll try it.

[AUSTIN]
You want to try? Okay.

[SOPHIA]
Come on, VR-LA. Earthbind!

[NOIR]
I'll Earthbind again. Third time's the charm.

[RED]
Yup.

[AUSTIN]
Alright, here we go.

[RED]
Aww, it's going back up again.

[AUSTIN]
It bursts again. Enoch is gonna come over to the back here and look up at Kyana.

[RED]
Hello!

 
[AUSTIN]
You see, he reaches for— Now you recognize it, it's a red dragon scale belt.

[RED]
Mm-hmm.

[AUSTIN]
He unfastens it and tosses it up to you.

[SOPHIA]
Is he gonna ride the dragon?

[RED]
Oh?

[NOIR]
Oh.

[AUSTIN]
And he goes, "It seems I was only due for one miracle this day."

[RED]
What. No. No!

[SOPHIA]
Enoch, no!

[AUSTIN]
He says, "Thank you for saving me."

[RED]
Not the mentor!

[AUSTIN]
"Allow me to return the favor"

[NOIR]
We went on a detour *specifically*—

[AUSTIN]
He cast Jump on himself—

[RED]
No!

[AUSTIN]
—was the spell. And he's going to jump off, and he's going to try to grab this dragon in order to pull it away.

[SOPHIA]
He's going to ride the dragon. He's gonna do the animal handling check!

[NOIR]
I'm gonna be clear: this is a failure in my eyes.

[SOPHIA]
I know right?

[NOIR]
We, the Per Aspera, have failed Enoch.

[RED]
Break the ship! Full reverse, Mr. Sulu!

[AUSTIN]
You guys have eight successes out of nine. You need a nine to get away from this. Eight successes and two failures. It was one or the other, and he's going to basically sacrifice himself as final success, after you guys missed so many times on a bunch of things, honestly. But, it was brilliant planning.

But you see he hands the belt, gives a nod, turns to Finbar, says, "Thank you for the meal." And he jumps off the back. The dragon goes to bite at him; he misses, and he grabs onto a wing and pulls. He's not very strong, but the dragon's not huge. It's only a medium-sized creature. Pulls the wing and the dragon spirals to the edge, and they land in the middle of a big battlefield going on.

[RED]
No!

 
[SOPHIA]
Enoch! "Did you guys lose our gith??"

[AUSTIN]
That's your final success.

[RED]
Aagh! No! This sucks. Hold on.

[NOIR]
At what cost? At what cost? Ahh, I don't have any more spells.

[SOPHIA]
I don't have any spells left, there's nothing.

[NOIR]
They're all offensive. Why did I think that— Why did I take offensive spells?

[SOPHIA]
'Oops All Fire Damage' is really coming back to bite us in the ass.

[RED]
What's my jump speed?

[AUSTIN]
Hold on, I'll tell you what your jump distance is. Tell me what your strength score is.

[RED]
My strength score... is a ten.

[AUSTIN]
Okay. Oh, wait, no, you're not ten feet tall. Your strength score is ten.

[NOIR]
To be clear, there's nothing else chasing us, right? Because we dealt with the dragonfly.

[AUSTIN]
Yep.

[NOIR]
Okay. Yeah, I'll slow down.

[AUSTIN]
Step the wind? You have— You have a 20-foot horizontal jump, so that could make it to the edge. And if you use your action and your bonus action to run, that gives you three times whatever your movement speed is.

[RED]
How far down did he fall? Or go?

[AUSTIN]
I mean, he jumped pretty far. He jumped, like, 50 feet back onto this dragon, and then you guys kept going. But with all of your movement, I could say you might be able to get to him.

[RED]
I mean...

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. I mean, there's bad guys around him, though.

[RED]
I know, I can do that. I can grab him, and then I have step of the wind, and I can double my jump distance to see—

[AUSTIN]
So I've already taken your step of the wind into account to get there.

[RED]
Right. But then it doubles my jump distance—

[AUSTIN]
It's gonna be your whole turn to get there. Right, what I'm thinking is I can grab him—

[AUSTIN]
It doubled it to 20 feet.

[RED]
Right. Wait, really? My jump distance is ten feet?

[AUSTIN]
Horizontal with a running jump, yeah.

[RED]
Okay. I was thinking more to get back up to the ship.

[NOIR]
I have something that could potentially—

[AUSTIN]
I was gonna say what you really need is a Dimension Door or something.

[SOPHIA]
Mm.

[RED]
Well, I can't do that.

[SOPHIA]
VR-LA?

[NOIR]
Austin, lemme pitch something to ya. I telescope out my Staff of the Clockwork Swarm. And—

[AUSTIN]
Okay.

[NOIR]
I use an action to create an insect cloud.

[AUSTIN]
You used it today.

[NOIR]
I did, so I have only five left.

[AUSTIN]
Okay. Oh, right.

[NOIR]
I can use an action to create an insect cloud. So centered around me is a 30-foot radius of just small, flying insects.

[SOPHIA]
In the dome? Bug dome?

[NOIR]
Well, okay. Well, it follows me. So I exit the dome.

[SOPHIA]
Okay.

[RED]
Oh, no.

[AUSTIN]
Okay. Yeah. No, that's fine. Okay.

[NOIR]
I can also cast Giant Insect and create— My idea is that I create a rideable insect that follows my verbal commands.

[SOPHIA]
Ant-Man. He's gonna become Ant-Man.

[AUSTIN]
Holy shit. (laughs)

[RED]
Do you need the insect swarm on it for that?

[NOIR]
Well, I can transform up to five wasps, essentially, or wasp flying–like creatures.

[RED]
Okay.

 
[NOIR]
So my idea was I would just enlarge one or however many of you guys wanted to fly and try and do this extraction mission. My verbal commands would essentially be, 'fly to where Enoch is and fly back'.

[RED]
Yes.

[NOIR]
Yeah. So if it's just Kyana, can I do two? Basically, it's the landing party plus one, because one for Enoch.

[AUSTIN]
The giant wasp is a medium beast, so you're gonna need two to carry any regular-sized person.

[RED]
Right.

[NOIR]
Oh, dang. Okay. Okay! Then four wasps: two for Kyana, two for Enoch.

[SOPHIA]
I'll run up and take the helm as he's doing this, so someone is still flying the spelljammer.

[RED]
Good idea, yeah. We're gonna want an extraction.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. Dani, take the wheel.

[SOPHIA]
Dani, take the wheel.

[AUSTIN]
Dani goes in. They have a 50-foot fly, which is pretty good. With a dash, they can get you there, and they might be able to catch up to the ship if you slow down a little bit.

[RED]
Yes, please do. Bank it around!

[AUSTIN]
So we're going theater of the mind, and here's what's gonna happen. You guys get there with the wasps. The wasps are gonna drop you. We're gonna have one round of combat with Enoch and Kyana against a red dragon.

[NOIR]
Shit.

[RED]
Oh, god.

[AUSTIN]
And then the wasps are gonna extract them.

[RED]
Okay.

[WALLY]
Can I cast Guidance on Kyana before she leaves?

[RED]
Could you maybe cast a heal sp— Actually you know what, I could probably pop a healing potion before I go down there, right?

[WALLY]
I have no spells left.

[RED]
That's okay, I have three healing potions.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, you've got a bonus action here. Okay. How much— So you've got time to drink one.

[NOIR]
Also, just for posterity, I've used up all of my charges today. Apparently, I have to roll a d20, and on a one, it destroys it. But I rolled a nine! So we're good.

 
[RED]
Oh no! Oh, okay.

[AUSTIN]
Okay. Whew.

[RED]
Whew. Alright.

[AUSTIN]
Too bad, that magic item is really strong.

[RED]
Okay!

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. So he throws his belt up to you and then goes off. Kyana, what do you do and say?

[RED]
Absolutely not! Not the first decent authority figure I've ever had in my life! Okay.

[AUSTIN]
Dani sits down in the helm. The ship slows a little bit, but not too much. You hear a buzzing as the collapsible rod extends and VR-LA comes out. Four mechanical wasps, expanding.

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
Playing a little fast and loose with the actions here, but that's okay, because it's gonna be...

[RED]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Alright, here's what's up.

 
[NOIR]
At this point, like, half a minute has passed for me to have done all of this.

[RED]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah.

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
Please give me an initiative for Kyana.

[RED]
Oh, god.

[AUSTIN]
I'll go ahead and drag a token. We're doing this all theater of the mind, you guys are just gonna be in melee with the dragon.

[RED]
A 19, which means my initiative is 27!

[SOPHIA]
Nice.

[NOIR]
Nice!

[AUSTIN]
Alright.

[NOIR]
We're like the audience now.

[RED]
Okay, okay, okay.

 
[AUSTIN]
And the wasps are essentially going on your turn. Alright, first we'll roll Enoch. Enoch gets a nine.

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
You're at 27, which is bonkers. Here we go.

[RED]
Yeah baby, 19!
[AUSTIN]
Here comes the dragon.

[RED]
Alright.

[AUSTIN]
He has a plus zero DEX. He also rolls a nine, so he's actually going last.

[RED]
As far as I'm concerned, we just need to survive this round and then we're fine. So. Okay!

[AUSTIN]
Here we go. Kyana, you land next to the dragon, next to Enoch.

[RED]
Damn straight, I do. Alright!

[AUSTIN]
What would you like to do?

[RED]
I'm going full punchy on this thing! Is there a chance I can land opposite Enoch so we're flanking him, and I get advantage on all my attacks?

[AUSTIN]
Go for it.

[RED]
Yay! Okay, attack number one. (dice clatters) 19?

[AUSTIN]
That'll hit.

[RED]
Oh, thank goodness, okay. The other one was a two.

[NOIR]
Fucking deck 'em!

[RED]
Okay. Six points of force damage. Second attack.

[AUSTIN]
Okay. This thing doesn't look— It barely feels that.

[RED]
Of course it does. But we just need to survive this round. Second attack.

[AUSTIN]
It's only a medium-sized creature, it's a wyrmling. But.

[RED]
Well, 15 to hit that time.

[NOIR]
Oh!

[SOPHIA]
Oh, we could take him.

[AUSTIN]
15 will not hit.

[RED]
Okay. Flurry of blows, I don't care, one more ki point down. Let me just grab my actions. (dice clatters) 14—

 
[AUSTIN]
How many hit points do you have, by the way?

[RED]
27 right now. I've been healed up pretty good. It's close to my max, which isn't great! And my final attack... (dice clatters) I swear to god, it's another 15!

[AUSTIN]
AC's 17.

[RED]
I know.

[SOPHIA]
Can you use inspiration on attack rolls?

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, go for it!

[NOIR]
You have Guidance, right?

[RED]
Oh, right, what does Guidance do?

[AUSTIN]
Guidance is a d4 on an ability check, not an attack roll.

[RED]
Oh, okay.

[AUSTIN]
So you could have used it to get a higher initiative.

[WALLY]
Yeah, but she didn't need it.

[RED]
I don't think that would be—

 
[AUSTIN]
Maybe there's something else you'll need to use it for.

[RED]
Yeah.

[SOPHIA]
Kyana, because you have jumped off the ship and are doing something very cool, even if ill-advised, but ill-advised is like my favorite kind of thing in D&D, please use my inspiration to try and hit if you would like to add.

[AUSTIN]
Let me ask—

[RED]
Okay. How does that work?

[AUSTIN]
—have you ever tried stunning strike? Would you like to try the stunning strike?

[RED]
I mean, I could try a stunning strike. They'll need to make a CON save.

[AUSTIN]
It's now or never.

[RED]
Okay, yeah, fine, I'll burn my second-to-last ki point on a stunning strike on the one punch that hit.

[AUSTIN]
He has a plus five to this. Tell me what he has to roll.

[RED]
He has to roll a ten or higher to get the DC 15.

[AUSTIN]
Alright, here we go.

 
[RED]
Here we go.

[SOPHIA]
Come on, come on, come on.

[RED]
It's not my day, it's— Fuck! It's not my day, they got a 23.

[SOPHIA]
Oh...

[AUSTIN]
Natural 18.

[NOIR]
This dragon!

[AUSTIN]
Well, okay, wait. You hit once, right? You dealt damage, you did stunning strike.

[RED]
Yeah, I did.

[AUSTIN]
Is Dani giving you an inspiration to try and hit a second time?

[RED]
I think she said so, but I'm not— like, so how does that work?

[SOPHIA]
Yeah, you get to add a d6 to your attack.

[AUSTIN]
Roll a d6. And in this case, if you hit a two or higher, then you hit, because you only need a 17.

[SOPHIA]
Take one of my inspos.

 
[RED]
Ha! I rolled a six!

[SOPHIA]
Nice! That's the power of rolling with mechanics.

[AUSTIN]
Okay, you hit. Go ahead, roll damage.

[RED]
So, it's d6 plus four again and... (heh!) (dice clatters) Alright, this one is seven force damage, and I'm gonna burn my last ki point to try and make that one a stunning strike too.

[SOPHIA]
Yes! Come on, come on!

[AUSTIN]
Alright.

[RED]
Ten or higher. Come on, baby.

[SOPHIA]
All the juju is going to this dragon failing.

[AUSTIN]
Alright. I'm about to press this enter button.

[RED]
Just do it. Just do it.

[AUSTIN]
Just so you know, this creature, it has fire breath, and it has a bite attack.

[RED]
Just get it over with.

[AUSTIN]
So. Here we go. If he has a turn, this might be bad.

[RED]
As far as i'm concerned, the wasps can extract me— The wasps can extract me—

(cheering)

[RED]
Natural one!

[AUSTIN]
That's a natural one.

[WALLY]
Nat one!

[AUSTIN]
Kyana, you essentially end this fight. So tell me— you know you don't kill this dragon. This is gonna be enough time for you guys to get out. Tell me how you do this.

[RED]
A really big uppercut right in its dragon jaw. I want a K.O. screen on a Street Fighter...

[SOPHIA]
K.O.!

[AUSTIN]
The force comes in, and crack! You see dazed dragon eyes. He is stunned until the end of your next turn.

[RED]
Okay. Get on the wasp, get on the wasp, get on the wasp right now!!

[AUSTIN]
You feel that that sentience inside you standing ovation cheer.

[RED]
Aww, thanks, inner self!

(laughter)

[AUSTIN]
Enoch comes over to you. "Why did you return?? That was foolish."

[RED]
Get on the wasp. Get on the wasp!

[AUSTIN]
"Oh, god!"

[RED]
Only authority figure I've ever respected in my life, get on the wasp!!

[AUSTIN]
Two giant fucking nightmare wasps show up and grab his lapels. Same for you. The dragon's turn passes uneventfully.

[RED]
Yes!

[AUSTIN]
Uh, yeah, I'm gonna count that as a success.

[RED]
Whoo, baby!

[SOPHIA]
Clutch natural one!

[AUSTIN]
The ship pulls back just enough for these wasps to drop you. The dragon shakes off its stun, but you see now, the armies of Acheron are bearing down on it.

[RED]
Whoo, baby!

[AUSTIN]
You guys exit out the other side of the cube.

[WALLY]
It's time to go.

[RED]
Yeah, we're getting out of here!

[AUSTIN]
The ringing of steel on steel enters the air again.

[SOPHIA]
This place is great, guys. We should stay here more often!

[RED]
Hoh.

[NOIR]
Please give me back the chair so we can get out of here.

[AUSTIN]
Is Dani gonna keep driving or is VR-LA gonna come back in?

[SOPHIA]
Dani is battle cry screaming, like, "Aaahhh!" and just going at maximum speed.

[NOIR]
Dani, please exit the vehicle so I may drive.

[AUSTIN]
(laughs) You very politely move her, sit back down. The ship skids, banks, broken masts swinging kind of wildly. And (whoosh!) you guys move past, taking the wide berth around the metal cube you just exited. All at once, that feeling of rising rapidly through water as you crest back into the Astral Sea.

[RED]
Okay. Let's just go to Sigil now, okay? How about that?

[SOPHIA]
Are there any other gith? Can I do a perception check to see if there's anyone else around us as we exit the portal?

[AUSTIN]
Roll a perception check.

[RED]
I swear to god.

[SOPHIA]
Ooh, with my minus one, that is a one. It's a dirty one.

[RED]
Yay! "Well, we're alone, guys!"

[AUSTIN]
There could be gith around at any moment. You gotta—

[SOPHIA]
I think we're perfectly safe.

[AUSTIN]
You gotta keep an eye out.

[WALLY]
We're booking it. We're booking it.

[RED]
Constant vigilance!

[SOPHIA]
Don't worry, guys.

[NOIR]
VR-LA's booking it.

[RED]
Okay.

[WALLY]
Let's take Enoch down to the sick bay, make sure everyone's alright. Heal them up. Get some extra food.

[AUSTIN]
Enoch's really okay.

[WALLY]
I don't care, everybody— Nobody, no more fighting.

[AUSTIN]
Man, I didn't get to fire breath anyone.

[RED]
Oh, no!

[SOPHIA]
Hey, we've got the market cornered on fire-based damage over here!

[NOIR]
Yeah, after succeeding, like, seven times.

[AUSTIN]
Guys, it's only 7d6 fire damage.

[WALLY]
I have 94 effective hit points right now.

[RED]
Oh my god.

[SOPHIA]
I'm 57.

[AUSTIN]
When you guys went to Acheron, I was like, 'this is hard. But if they trend towards winning, it's gonna get really easy' because the more you win in Acheron, the easier it gets to win. That's the whole point of the warring plane.

[SOPHIA]
As far as Dani is concerned, Acheron is a delightful place. I exited with full hit points up to, like, 53.

[RED]
Look, it's fine if it's not Heroic Sacrifices–ville!

[SOPHIA]
True. It's a bad place for mentors.

 
[RED]
I don't mind the scenery, it's what happened that I didn't like! Oh my god.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. Everyone goes downstairs. Your sickbay is basically the dining room, so I guess, Fin, if you want to start patching people up.

[RED]
I'm just gonna lie on the nice, comfortable floor for a minute.

[AUSTIN]
There's a nice rug in there.

[WALLY]
Get some soup out.

[SOPHIA]
I'll start fixing up the engines and stuff, because I assume we've sustained— Well, first of all, you broke my mast. Thanks a lot!

[AUSTIN]
You're going to need to take a day and probably spend some gold to get this thing fixed all the way. You rolled high, so you didn't bust the engine. So you're not gonna need to materially fix the engine. The engine is just going to need to be, like, you know, tinkered with a little bit. Nothing tools can't fix.

[WALLY]
When we get to Sigil, we'll have time to patch it all up before we head back. So.

[SOPHIA]
Ah, boy.

[RED]
I'm gonna give Enoch his fancy belt back, because I don't like that he tried to die to give it to me.

(laughter)
 
[AUSTIN]
He accepts it back. "Many gifts from you, this day. Thank you."

[RED]
Yeah. Well, thanks for not dying.

[AUSTIN]
"It seems it's another debt I owe you."

[RED]
Eh, don't mention it.

[AUSTIN]
"One life in the face of four others. A small price to pay."

[RED]
No, no, no, no. I don't trade lives. We're not doing that, okay?

[WALLY]
On this ship, we watch out for our own.

[SOPHIA]
We would appreciate if you covered some of the repair costs to the ship, though, if you're looking for an exchange sort of situation.

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
"Oh, I'm a monk. I carry..."

[RED]
Yeah, I know, right?

[AUSTIN]
"Material possessions sworn off. I have no money."

[RED]
All this stuff about money is so weird.

[SOPHIA]
Dani will just sulkily walk back towards the engine room.

[RED]
A life: a small price to pay for fixing the engine.

[AUSTIN]
“In Limbo, when we want money, we simply need to think of money and it appears. So.”

[RED]
Hey, Dani, do you wanna go to Limbo next?

[SOPHIA]
I will go anywhere, pretty much any time, as long as the ship is functional, which it's becoming increasingly less functional as we continue toward Sigil! Oh, man.

[RED]
Yeah. Wow.

[SOPHIA]
We had a car chase episode!

[AUSTIN]
You hand him the belt, he fingers it for a moment, and then offers it back to you and says—

[RED]
Huh?

[AUSTIN]
"Twice this day, you've saved my life. Please. It's a rite of passage for githzerai to obtain one, but there will be more adventures to be had.”

[RED]
Oh, dang.

[AUSTIN]
“I'm sure I will find some suitable replacement."

[RED]
Thank you. Always more adventures, that's the best thing about being out here.

[WALLY]
What's it do?

[RED]
Yeah, I'm curious about this magical belt.

[AUSTIN]
"Don't underestimate rest and respite, though."

[RED]
Eh, yeah. Time and a place.

[AUSTIN]
"Quiet time for contemplation is needed." Yes, definitely. It is— Hold on, I wrote it down somewhere. Yes.

[NOIR]
Well, I can—

[AUSTIN]
I think I wrote it down as an adventure for the last—

[SOPHIA]
Yes, we've got two Identify spells ready to go. You guys have a bunch of stuff to identify

[NOIR]
Yeah. because you didn't identify the weapons or the armor you got last adventure.

[SOPHIA]
Oh, yeah. Oh, shit.

[RED]
Oh, right, I forgot about that stuff!

[SOPHIA]
Dani and VR-LA could have a little powwow in the engine room. Just set up the ritual spell for Identify and just start blasting them off.

 
[NOIR]
VR-LA basically reset his level one spell slots during the short rest in preparation for the Identify-athon.

[WALLY]
Do we also get a long rest in?

[AUSTIN]
You guys get a long rest.

[RED]
Oh, thank goodness!

[AUSTIN]
It's gonna take you the better part of a day to get to Sigil. Yeah, you guys get a long rest, you make it to Sigil uneventfully. Dani, you spend some time fiddling with the ship, you guys identify all your magic items. Let's work upwards in terms of how cool it is. So soul coin— Oh, let me bring up soul coins real quick.

[RED]
Ah, yes.

[SOPHIA]
Soul coins!
[AUSTIN]
Because if you want to Identify the soul coin, it will tell you how to dispel them.

A coin has a unique soul in it, so it's a completely different person trapped in each one, via the curse of a night hag. Each soul has three charges. You can expend one charge to do one of the following: Drain Life, which gives you 1d10 temporary hit points; or Query, which you telepathically ask the soul a question and it gives you a short answer back.

Freeing a soul: so, casting a spell that removes a curse frees the soul from the soul coin, as does expending all the coin's charges.

[RED]
Wait, so using the coin frees the soul.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, that doesn't seem right. I believe it should destroy the soul.

[RED]
Aww.

[AUSTIN]
No, using the coin destroys the soul. A soul can also be freed from destroying the coin that contains it. A soul coin has an AC of 19, one hit point for each charge it has remaining, and immunity to all damage except that which is dealt by a hellfire weapon or an infernal war machine's furnace.

[RED]
And then we just have a pile of gold, right? It just leaves a big pile?

[AUSTIN]
It's a smashed coin.

[RED]
Well, but, like, raw gold, you know, it could be reminted into... I don't know why I'm putting opinions about money as if I know how it works.

[AUSTIN]
Hellfire weapons function as normal weapons, except that any mortal soul killed by them is immediately sent to Hell and is born as the lowest ranking demon— Sorry, lowest ranking devil, which is a lemure. Basically, you can condemn a soul to Hell by killing someone with this.

[RED]
I don't think I like these very much.

[AUSTIN]
But they can be used to destroy the coins. Or casting Remove Curse or Dispel Good and Evil frees the coins as well.

The half plate you found is... On an Identify you learn this is... Canian half plate, forged on the coldest layer of Hell. This is an armor that signifies a membership to the Helltroopers, which are a order of shock troops that fight in Avernus. And wearing it grants you resistance to cold damage. So it is a half plate, resist cold.

[RED]
Hm! Does anyone here wear armor?

[AUSTIN]
Finally—

[WALLY]
I do.

[RED]
Oh, good.

[SOPHIA]
Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, it's metal half plate. So anyone who has medium armor proficiency can wear it. Finally, the item that you received is a dragonhide belt.

[RED]
Okay.

[AUSTIN]
"This finely detailed belt is made of dragonhide. While wearing it, you gain a bonus to your saving throw DCs of your ki features." It's an uncommon magic item, so you gain a plus one.

"In addition, you can use an action to regain ki points equal to a roll of your Martial Arts die. You can't use this action again until the next dawn".

[RED]
Sorry, just a sec. I'm writing this up.

[AUSTIN]
I will add the magic item to your inventory after this.

[RED]
Awesome, I'll leave it alone then.

 
[AUSTIN]
But yeah, your saving throws for your ki goes up by one, and once a day you can use an action to roll a dice and get some ki points back.

[RED]
Oh, perfect!

[AUSTIN]
So yeah, it's good for if you have a lot of fights with no short rests.

[RED]
I can use more stunning strikes now. Yeah.

[AUSTIN]
Correct. You have to spend a whole action doing it, but yeah.

[RED]
Right.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yeah, you guys arrive in Sigil, customary modrons take your fee for docking, and you guys are gonna have to be in port for a day or two getting the ship fixed.

Enoch, in a goodbye, you guys kind of line up and he finds you as well, nods to each one of you, first to Kyana.

He says, "Take good care of that, and if you ever need to find me, the secrets of the citadels in Limbo are carefully guarded by the githzerai. But wear this belt, you might be considered a friend among them."

[RED]
Thanks. Take care of yourself.

[AUSTIN]
"Seek out the guildmaster Rhys in Sigil, if you have need of locating me in Limbo."

[RED]
Will do. Take care of yourself. Please don't go punching any more dragons without help.

[AUSTIN]
"Some time of respite and contemplation, I think, for myself."

[RED]
Yes.

[AUSTIN]
"I miss our gardens." He goes to VR-LA. He says, "I believe it is you I have to thank for my timely rescue. So for your quick thinking, thank you."

[NOIR]
Well, it is you that we have to thank for our success, ultimately, in the end. So, one debt has been repaid immediately.

[AUSTIN]
"I think you and I understand each other quite well."

[RED]
Aww.

[NOIR]
Would you like to be our captain?

[RED]
No, we already asked him that!

(laughter)

[WALLY]
There it is.

[SOPHIA]
We're waiting.

[AUSTIN]
He goes to Finbar. He says, "The githyanki are not the worst thing to roam on the Astral Sea, so take care of them.”

[WALLY]
I'll do my best.

[AUSTIN]
“And again, thank you for the meal. it was delicious."

[WALLY]
"One little thing for the road, though," and he pulls out a little baggie.

[RED]
Magical Tupperware.

[SOPHIA]
You made him a plate!

[AUSTIN]
He graciously accepts. He says—

[RED]
Floats it around.

[AUSTIN]
"Normally a good turn among the githzerai demands another. But you've done too much for me to repay, so: many 'thank you's."

He comes to Dani, he goes, "...Nice goggles." And he just walks away.

[SOPHIA]
Is it a curse word in Gith? Did I learn a Gith curse word?

[AUSTIN]
(laughs) You swear in Gith, he turns back.

[NOIR]
Damn. He really just said 'fuck you' and left.

[RED]
The greatest gift!

[AUSTIN]
He turns back. He says, "Remember that one. The githyanki don't forgive slights easily. So if you should run into them again, I feel you may need it."

 
[WALLY]
That is great.

[SOPHIA]
(cackling)

[RED]
I'm so glad we didn't let this guy die.

[NOIR]
It actually just means 'I love you' in Gith.

[AUSTIN]
He disembarks. Congratulations, guys! You survived the terrors of the Astral Sea, the infinite plane of war in Acheron. An immense skill challenge: nine successes. You guys needed nine successes. Which is an insanely hard skill challenge. But they're pirates who chase ships down—

[RED]
Mm-hmm.

[AUSTIN]
—so, you know, they succeed at this a lot.

[SOPHIA]
You can't chase down this ship, she's rock solid! (bangs on ship)

[NOIR]
It was a skill challenge with, like, three other combat encounters with it.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, and it came with a bunch of other combats.

[RED]
Holy cannoli.

[AUSTIN]
Oh, man. So much fun. Thank you everyone for playing. Thank you everyone for listening. I hope you enjoyed this, another fast-paced episode. Next week you guys deserve a break, y'know?

 
[SOPHIA]
That's why we're going back to Hell!

[NOIR]
Shopping episode?

[AUSTIN]
We'll do something nice and easy, you know?

[WALLY]
No more of this lower plane stuff, okay?

[RED]
(laughs)

[AUSTIN]
Yeah, the lower planes— You guys have had two encounters in the lower planes. By the way, 50% of the universe is much nicer than this.
[SOPHIA]
I don't know, I think this has been great.

[NOIR]
We can *literally* only go up from here.

[AUSTIN]
Yeah. Well, you could have headed to the Graying Wastes.

[WALLY]
You say that... Those are pretty bad, that gets worse. But you know, it's just where the Oblivion lies chained

[SOPHIA]
Oh, nice. to the bottom of creation, but.

[RED]
Oh, sounds pleasant and festive.

[SOPHIA]
Incredible.

[AUSTIN]
Thank you, everyone, for coming along, and we'll see you next week for another adventure with the crew of the Per Aspera.

[RED]
Woo hoo!

[SOPHIA]
Bye-bye. What was that Gith curse word to take us out?

[NOIR]
Goodbye.

[SOPHIA]
I didn't catch it, cause I think your audio cut out, actually.

[RED]
You didn't write it down??

[SOPHIA]
No.

[RED]
No!

♪(outro music)

[RED]
Hey, everybody, I'm Red, a.k.a. Kyana. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Rolling with Difficulty! We'll be back next week with another thrilling installment, but if you miss us before then, be sure to check out our Twitter and Instagram for more D&D nonsense! If you have any questions, comments or concerns, feel free to email the pod at rollwithdifficulty@gmail.com. Links to all that and more in the show notes below. If you enjoyed the show, please rate us and leave a review on your preferred podcast platform. See you next week!